Although built just like a jockey

I ride the horse called hockey

and run it hard aground

I'm a tool for all the owners

for whom money is a boner

while i push our fans around

'

I spend hours watching players

compete at space invaders

i left not a single door ajar

yes a lock-out's in my play book

and I call it with a stern look

our plans are all on par

its fun to watch the fan base

booing when shown my face

its happened all before

and although its the game they like

wherever i tell it to take a hike

i end up making more

i'm surrounded by the ladies

who coo at my mercedes

it always gets me hard

i just hope they don't inspect um

then they won't see that i did reck'um

or know that i'm a tard

remember how the Pkagers

were dressed in suits and Hagers

while drinking at the bar

my dream is for Mister Oshie

when he's out to get more toashie

he will have to sell his car

if the fans see little reason

for me to nulify their season

they can come and watch the ice

it will be so nice and clean

and as slick as vasoline

if they'll only meet my price

I've found a tv station

its barely in rotation

I quickly signed a deal

so do some channel hoping

slow down when you see shopping

we follow Ron Popeil

one day I'll be retirin

my legacy I'm admirin

I'll have gotten what I'm due

and the game will be a breakin

it will only play on lakes in

a winter cold and blue