Saturday Links - nASHless NYR

You will not see Rick Nash at the ol' hockey barn this evening. - Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

No Rick Nash tonight. Plager Brothers. Brad Boyes finds the broad side of a barn. Patrick Kaleta is a shitbag. More on hockey fights. Cawlidge hawkey awn da tee vee. Line brawls. Drew Magary was right. And pulling teeth. Enjoy your weekend.

Am I alone in thinking tonight's game is a trap game? Because man, it sure has the looks.

Also, Science Saturday is suspended for this week because J-Mill isn't doing the links. Sorry, boys and girls. I'm old and I hate learning shit*.

*NOT ENTIRELY TRUE

BLUES NEWS:

  • Hildy later admitted this was written based on old data, but still, at one time the Blues were the lowest-valued team in the NHL. [SLGT]
  • The Blues host the Rangers tonight. Rick Nash (errrr, is it . . . Rick nASH still?) is not gonna play. He was sent home due to headaches from his recent concussion. [USA Today]
  • Starting in goal for the Rangers tonight? Martin Biron. Light him up like a Goddamn Christmas tree. [Blueshirt Banter]
  • A reposting of an old, great piece about the Brothers Plager. This is an excellent read. [Greatest Hockey Legends]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Six games last night. Coyotes over Flyers, Kings over Hurricanes (in a shootout), Panthers over Penguins (BRAD BOYES SCORED TWICE!!!1 On . . . Jeff Zatkoff. Whatever.), Blackhawks over Islanders, Stars over Jets and Flames over Devils (boy, Calgary sucks at this "Season-Long Tank" thing"). [NHL.com]
  • Eleven hockey matches on the docket tonight. One of them involves the Blues, I hear. [NHL.com]
  • The St. Charles Chill shut out the Missouri Mavericks in their first ever exhibition game last night, a home game. Randall has the recap. [SLGT]
  • Patrick Kaleta is still a shitbag. This time, he hit Jack Johnson in the head. So he's out for two games pending an in-person hearing, which means he could get five or more games total to think about how much of a shitbag he is. [NHL.com]
  • Should the players' opinion of fighting weigh into whether or not it continues to be allowed to occur? Ryan Lambert dives into that subject in his "Trending Topics" piece, further beating to death a limp horse but raising some interesting points. [Puck Daddy]
  • And then there's this, from Adam Gretz at Deadspin, who says the role of hockey's enforcer is the most useless role in sports. Yeah, only if that's ALL he does (like, say, John Scott for instance). [Deadspin / Regressing]
  • Also mentioned in that "Trending Topics" piece is Tomas Hertl, who was on the wrong end of an Alex Edler check to the head Thursday night. Edler will get to think about that one for three games. [CBC]
  • Hockey hugs. You want them. You need them. [Puck Daddy]
  • NBCSN will air over 20 college hockey games this season. In true NBC fashion, 12 of those games will feature Notre Dame. Because of fucking course they'd do that. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • The Sabres are horrible, and they know it, and they want to do something about it. Problem is, as I said, they're horrible. [Buffalo Hockey Beat]
  • Owen Sound and Niagara of the OHL got into a line brawl. That's kinda looked down upon at that level. People are gonna get suspended and shit. [Y! / Buzzing The Net]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Cardinals fans prove Drew Magary's point. Seriously, these dumbasses make me embarrassed to admit I'm a Cardinals fan. Why not pick on someone who actually DOES hate the Cardinals, like Joe Strauss? [Deadspin]
  • The Fighting Illini play a home game against Wisconsin next Saturday, a game where the home team will wear all orange. The team is asking home fans to "Orange Out" the place. Tom Fornelli, however, wants the famed "Block I" student section to dress in something dealing with orange . . . but not. Yeah, he wants them to dress as droogs from A Clockwork Orange. Fucking. Love. It. [The Champaign Room]
  • Awful, AWFUL news out of Sioux Falls, SD . . . the 2-year-old son of Adrian Peterson was apparently beaten to death by his stepfather. [Argus Leader]
  • Why am I doing the links and not J-Mill? He went to Kansas City for the USA-Jamaica soccer match, which the Americans won 2-0. DOS A CERO! Oh wait, wrong opponent. [SB Nation]
  • Meanwhile, across the pond, England is struggling just to make it to Brazil 2014. Or, I mean, they'll make it, but their window of opportunity with their current lineup is closing REALLY fast. [Deadspin]

VIDEO:

John Tavares pulled out his own tooth. Never tell me hockey players are pussies. Ever.

Fucking cool. Maybe THAT counts for Science Saturday? Haha, no it doesn't.

Game day. Which means, a lot of stuff will be posted today. So stay tuned. Beat the Rags!

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