Sunday Links: #RoyWatch Looks Good

"We were always the ones carrying that old "Kid Line" anyway, weren't we, Bergie?" - Derek Leung

A hat trick of hat tricks, alternate 24/7s, a widespread Canadian/Russian conspiracy, and a curious lack of solar light upon the departure of "she."

That was fun last night! I mean, not the misogynist on Twitter taking shots at women and David Backes but the hat tricking and the shutting-out parts.

BLUES NEWS:

  • The Blues struck oil six times to beat Edmonton 6-0 last night. Here's your recap from Ashley, aka, SeriouslyMalfunctioningStepfordwife (I didn't see that movie, didn't the Stepford Wives turn out to be robots? Also, did I just ruin that movie for everyone?) [SLGT]
  • Here's the beat writer's view from Oilers country. Its starts like this:

The Edmonton Oilers tried their best and kept it close for a while, but lost a 6-0 decision to the LA Kings.

Or was it the Anehim Ducks? Or Boston Bruins?

Whatever. Doesn’t matter.

...

They’re frustrated and need to be more consisted and use their speed against big teams and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

...and it goes on from there. [Edmonton Sun]

  • You've heard this by now, but Roman Polak has been placed on IR by the team and will miss about 2 weeks with a lower-body injury - my source says that he pulled a glut muscle while farting in Chris Porter's helmet. (My "source" is the man who lives in my finger, Mr. Bimble. - 3:43 in) [Blues]
  • RobbTufts brings you an all-new interactive Blues Shot Tracker table - finally, you'll be able to tell your friends what Derek Roy's shooting percentage on slap shots was against Montreal on November 5th! Seriously, it's an awesome graph that could prove VERY useful. Such as for learning that (prior to last night) Alexander Steen 's season shooting percentage was 19%, which is high but not insanely unsustainable. [SLGT]
  • Speaking of Derek Roy, #RoyWatch is now up to 27 after adding 2 assists last night (giving him 19 helpers on the year). Get your tip jars ready. [Hockey-Reference]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • An awkward day for Conference III teams yesterday - besides our win, the Avalanche, Predators, and Stars were all awarded loser points. Also, remember the other night when the Flyers scored five 3rd period goals to come back against the Blue Jackets? Well last night #Lumbus returned the favor, netting four tallys in the 3rd to win 6-3. [NHL.com 12/21]
  • Only two games tonight - Wild-Rangers and Jets-Canucks - while everyone else is enjoying their Festivus Eve. [NHL.com 12/22]
  • Also last night was a Winter Classic preamble between the Red Wings and the Maple Leafs that ended in a thrilling 5-4 shootout win for (Fuck) Detroit. [Winging It In Motown]
  • Penguins Capitals Rangers KHL Flyers Stars Bruins Devils winger Jaromir Jagr scored his 694th career goal last night to tie Mark Messier for 6th all-time. New Jersey beat the Caps 5-4 in overtime. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • Just like Chris Stewart, both Antoine Vermette of the Coyotes and Ryan Getzlaf of the Ducks led their respective teams to wins with hat tricks. [Five for Howling] [Anaheim Calling]
  • While playing the Canadiens, Seth Jones took a deflected Andrei Markov slap shot right to his pretty, freedom-loving face. No word on his condition just yet, but he did not have to leave the rink to go to the hospital. Clearly, the Canadians (without the 'e') are in league with the Russians to sabotage American supremacy come February. [On the Forecheck]
  • Stephen Weiss will miss at least 8 weeks now that he's elected to undergo hernia surgery. Letting the Wings pay him more money has turned out pretty nicely hasn't it? You know, for being Army's 4th or 5th choice this past summer, Derek Roy might be having the best year of any of 2013's UFA centers. [Detroit News]
  • Last night was also the 2nd episode of this year's 24/7 on HBO, and it was a lot more interesting than the first. However, it still featured the Red Wings, who are just plain fucking boring, even when their coach is so fucking pissed he yells at the camera crew. So Sean McIndoe, aka, Lower Travels UPS (Down Goes Brown), ranks every team in the league to see which ones would be the most entertaining on 24/7. I'm surprised the Blues are as high as they are, but you might be offended that they aren't higher, and we both might be right. Also, as much as my hatred for them fuels my very existence and gives me purpose in an otherwise meaningless life void of direction, I'd watch the shit out of the Blackhawks on 24/7, so I'd rank them higher too. [Grantland]
  • Harrison Mooney ranked the 10 best moments in Hockey Twitter this year - and boy, were there some doozys, weren't there. [Puck Daddy]
  • The USA preliminary World Junior squad took on the Swedes on Friday, losing 4-2. Their second pre-tournament warm up match will be this morning against Finland at 6:30 am central...which was 30 minutes before this post goes live, so get on that shit. The final rosters will be announced tomorrow. [United States of Hockey]

UN-HOCKEY SHIT:

  • ...I-N-I!!! [STLToday]
  • NFL week 16 - when I finally win a fantasy football title, hopefully! Last week, Jason Tucker's 61 yard winning field goal gave me the difference in my semifinal! As for actual football, here are the NFL games playing in your respective markets. [506 Sports]
  • The Champaign Room is excited today...I can't imagine what about... [The Champaign Room]
  • This quiz from The Grey Lady can predict where you grew up based on your pronunciations and slang terms more accurately than Professor Henry Higgins. I've lived in the St. Louis area for 21 years now, and it guessed that after one time through. Find out how weird you talk. [New York Times]
  • At the end of this month, one of the most well known refs in college basketball, Ed Hightower (who also happened to be Superintendent of Edwardsville School District #7, where I went to 6th-12th grade) will retire from officiating, so during a TV timeout, Michigan State coach Tom Izzo decided to grab a mic and lead the crowd in honoring Dr. Hightower with a round of applause. Classy move (even if he was a better ref than a school administrator). [Yahoo! Sports]
  • Did you know that in the state of Texas it is illegal to own more than six dildos? Here are some other weird obscure sex laws in different states. NSFW, if you couldn't tell. [io9]

VIDEOS:

I've been listening to this song all night while putting these links together. I'm not depressed or anything (at the moment), it's just a fucking awesome song.


And now to celebrate this holy time of year, here's Mr. Hanky The Christmas Poo with Kenny McCormick with a very special Christmas tune. NSFW. Or church, for that matter.


Tyler is heading to Canada for the holidays, including a trip to Calgary for tomorrow night's Blues-Flames game, so you're stuck with me through Boxing Day. I bet you feel pretty foolish for holding onto those links you were going to send DK instead of me, don't you? It's okay, I'll forgive you if you just hand over your links to me!

It's not just Prospect Sunday, it's the last Prospect Sunday before the World Juniors start, so if we have any kids heading to Sweden on Thursday Brian will tell you about them. (I honestly don't know if we do this year, so I know I'll stop by later on to find out!)

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