Saturday Links - Small and Large Signings

I like you, Brian, but you're NOT a number one goaltender. - USA TODAY Sports

The podcast needs a name. Blake Wheeler is getting PAID while a couple others are merely . . . well, getting checks. Joel Quenneville makes me further angry at Bill Laurie. And fucked up malt liquor commercials. It's YOUR weekend. Not mine.

yeah, I have to work in the morning. No, I don't care. Maybe, go fuck yourself.

Nah, whatever, you're cool.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Vote for the name of CCR & I's new podcast. At press time, "Beyond Checkerdome" had a commanding lead. Polls close Monday or Tuesday. And the Blackhawks troll is gonna have to try harder. [SLGT]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • This Sam McCaig guy made a list of the top 30 starting goaltenders in the NHL. He lists Brian Elliott as the Blues' starting goalie, not Jaroslav Halak, which makes me wonder if he got all of his Blues info from scouring "The Asylum". Sam McCaig also had Cory Schneider over Martin Brodeur, so yeah, very flawed list, if you ask me. [Y! Sports]
  • The Jets avoided arbitration with their top scorer, Blake Wheeler, and are paying him handsomely for the next six seasons. [USA Today]
  • The Hurricanes were once short on talent, but now they have this Nathan Gerbe guy signed, so they're just basically . . . short . . . now. Alright, that was terrible . . . [Hurricanes]
  • Young Ducks forward Kyle Palmieri signed a three-year deal in Anaheim. [Ducks]
  • Since leaving the Blues, Joel Quenneville has won two Stanley Cups (albeit with good talent, but no worse than he had with the Blues). He now gets his contract extended by the Blackhawks for three years. EXACTLY WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FIRE THIS GUY, BILL LAURIE, YOU DOUCHENOSTRIL FUCKHEAD?!?!?! [Blackhawks]
  • In his weekly Trending Topics piece, Ryan Lambert wants to know why on fucking Earth the Maple Leafs thought it was a wise decision to keep Dave Nonis around another five years. I agree. [Puck Daddy]
  • Gilles Lupien, Roberto Luongo's now former agent, blames Mike Gillis and the Canucks' front office for the fucked-up nature of their situation with Luongo. [Globe & Mail]

OTHER SHIT:

  • A bear walks into a bar . . . nope, no joke. This happened in Estes Park, CO. [Deadspin]
  • Singing "Happy Birthday" makes cake taste better, according to studies. Y'know what makes cake taste better? Actually HAVING it. [Y! / The Sideshow]
  • A producer fired over some fake names they were given from the Asiana plane crash in San Francisco . . . makes another glaring error. Either that, or he just went to Rural King. [The Wrap]

VIDEO:

It's the weekend, and you're gonna get drunk anyway. So Kate has provided a couple Schlitz commercials, and they're both fucked up. I'll present the other one tomorrow.

    GET BLACKOUT DRUNK WITH NO BULL.

    And remember, if you send videos, I can hardly EVER guarantee they'll be on the next day, BUT I can guarantee they'll eventually get posted. If you send a link, I can virtually ALWAYS guarantee next-day service. No matter what, you'll get credit for it if you want me to. Just sayin'. Send me links!

    Also . . . VOTE!

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