Thursday Links - Just A Placeholder For The Hockey Gods

"Why yes, I was . . . uhhhh, STOLEN . . . from Nashville. Right!" *CASHES ENORMOUS CHECK* - Hannah Foslien

This links post will be the third-best thing posted today. Tarasenko is speaking English better. Traverse City roster. Barry Trotz is a crotchety old man with a dumbass opinion of a former player. Quantrill's Raiders were assholes. And shitty uniform trends. Drink more beer.

My mother should be 65 today.

If any of you ever wish diabetes on your worst enemy, I want to hit you with a hot clothes iron in your fucking face. REPEATEDLY.

Everything from here on out is happy. I think.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Misleading headline, I think, but apparently Vladimir Tarasenko is a bit more comfortable with the NHL and the English language heading into the 2013-14 campaign, which the Blues have to be happy with. [StL Today]
  • In case you missed it . . . Blues single-game tickets go on sale Saturday, so buy 'em up, fuckers! [Blues]
  • A full season of hockey means the Traverse City prospects tournament is back. The Blues have their roster set for the tournament, led by the likes of Dmitrij Jaskin, Ty Rattie, Jordan Binnington and others. [Blues]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • I hope Barry Trotz was somewhat joking about how the Minnesota Wild "stole" Ryan Suter. I say that because giving a guy a fuck-ton of money isn't "stealing", but the exact opposite, and the Predators weren't ponying up. Also, the Wild don't care about you. They want a rivalry with Winnipeg (only guessing). [On The Forecheck]
  • Video review will be allowed to make sure certain major infractions are legit. But it's gonna cause some problems. Guaran-GODDAMN-teed. [Puck Daddy]
  • About a week ago I wondered aloud on Twitter as to why Mikhail Grabovski hasn't been signed by anyone yet. And then this comes about. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • "We have slavery. So should you." "FUCK YOU!" "WE'LL BURN YOUR CITY DOWN!" "Whatever, fuck off, you creeps!" "*LIGHTS TORCH*" (Yes, I inserted my paraphrased dialogue from the raid of Quantrill's Raiders, which took place 150 years ago yesterday. And since no one was alive back then, no one can tell me I'm exactly wrong . . . right?) (s/t to Kate) [NPR]
  • SB Nation's Longform series comes through again with the spectacular rise and horrendous fall of former NFL running back Ricky Bell. [SB Nation / Longform]

VIDEO:

Sleeves on basketball uniforms? I'm not the only one barfing about this. Apparently Matt Ufford doesn't like this either.

BRING BACK THE SINGLE-BAR KICKER FACE MASK!!!!!

J-Mill has your links tomorrow. You should send him shit, okay?

J-Mill will also have the next in his excellent "HOW-TO HATE" series later this morning.

Also, Beyond Checkerdome posts this afternoon. Hope you like ramblers and rambling. It's got a lot.

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