Are The Blues' Uniforms Really That Bad? ESPN Thinks So.

Hannah Foslien

ESPN's annual fluff UniWatch rankings for the NHL have been released, and the network that never covers hockey shows that they know somewhere between jack and squat about what the teams wear.

It's August. It's those summer doldrums where hardly anything happens, so we read puff pieces and get indignant about things that don't matter from news outlets that we hate. So, before anyone writes "WHO CARES!" in the comments, just take that into consideration. It's summer. I'm bored. And this is bullshit.

ESPN's UniWatch rankings for the NHL have come out, and unlike in the MLB rankings where the Cardinals ranked first, St. Louis' representative doesn't do too hot. The Blues are ranked 27th (!) out of all 30 teams. Last season they were 25th. Writer Paul Lukas explains:

Still an excellent jersey crest, but it almost gets lost amid all the other nonsense. The apron strings, swoopy stripes on the pants, the collarbone horns -- it's all too much. And the third jersey, much like the Blue Jackets', feels like retro-by-numbers.

Ok, fair enough with the regular jerseys. I really don't know of anyone who feels that they've improved since Reebok began designing the sweaters, which are no longer sweaters but are instead long-sleeved t-shirts. The Edge piping is awkward and unpleasant, and teams are bucking the trend left and right, such as Tampa Bay, Carolina, Dallas, and San Jose. The third jerseys, well, particularly they're my favorite "retro by numbers" one - dare I say, the first one who started the trend that everyone else piggybacked off of. Circular logos FTMFW.

Still, the Blues' jersey is not that bad. Carolina's logo is smaller and off center-ish, plus it looks like a flushing toilet. The removal of the shoulder yokes from their jerseys, Dallas', and San Jose just makes the whole concept look off. Has anyone seen the color shade of green that now makes up the Stars' jersey?

Lukas doesn't seem to like many NHL jerseys - he finds something to knock about nearly every one, including iconic ones like the Sabres' jerseys - the return to which was welcomed just a few years ago. Also, he ranks the Blackhawks' jersey #8. I hate the Blackhaws with every fiber of my being, but that is a beautiful jersey. There is pretty much nothing wrong with it, and it annoys me that it has to be the jersey of the team that's my least favorite in professional sports. Craig Custance takes Lukas to task for his rankings and starts out with the Hawks one.

I wish that they'd re-design the Blues jersey to get rid of the piping as well, but good lord, they're not that terrible.

Also, is it pre-season yet so I can stop caring about uniform power rankings?

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