Sunday Links: 'Doug Weight' Days Until Hockey

Pictured: Vladimir Sobotka, moments after apparently kicking the Wild goalie in his Charlie Browns. - Dilip Vishwanat

Beer rules, Canada sucks, and multiple words and/or phrases rhyme with "hug me." Clicks or GTFO!

Damn you, Donut King and your Broncos! You got a bullshit win over the Rams because-ZZZZZZ...

The worst part of August for a hockey fan is preseason football. Meaningless bullshit that still gets better ratings than regular season NHL games.

Here's some links to make you feel better.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Blues single game tickets are on sale now. Buy them so the team gets more money to give to Alex Pietrangelo. [Ticketmaster]
  • Speaking of Petro, good news: the two sides haven't completely given up talking to each other yet. So...there's that. [STLToday]
  • Hey, listen to DK & CCR's latest episode of Beyond Checkerdome. It's awesome. [SLGT]
  • Good news if you're not superstitious (which of course you are): The Hockey News's official 2014 Stanley Cup champion pick is your very own St. Louis Blues. [Frozen Notes]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • A minority owner of the Florida Panthers is suing to get his porn money back. ...wait, what?!? [Puck Daddy]
  • A new survey says that there are now 1.64 million registered hockey players in the world. Awesome. The only major hockey country to have their hockey population shrink: Canada. Also awesome. (#AmericaBest) [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • Speaking of That Inferior Nation Up North, Team Canada's official hiding spot from David Backes Olympic orientation camp opens today in Cal & Gary. Hitch, Petro, and Jay Bouwmeester will be there to prepare for their run to the bronze medal. (#CanadianGold) [NHL.com]
  • If you haven't heard yet, the Capitals have signed Mikhail Grabovski. Fucking took him long enough to sign. [The Hockey News]
  • The Kings and Ducks will not have an alumni game before their outdoor game. So no Gretzky & Lucky Luc vs. Kariya & Niedermayer. Booo! [SBNation]
  • Defending Big D thinks that Jamie Benn would make a great captain for the Dallas Stars. Sure, but does Jamie Benn fly his own fucking jet plane?!? [Defending Big D]

HOCKEY-LESS SHIT:

  • Some things in life just don't make any sense, have never made any sense, and likely will never make any sense. One of those things is why Philadelphia Eagles fans have always hated Donovan McNabb. Jon Bois chronicles all of the stupid bullshit McNabb was made to deal with in his career through no fault of his own. [SBNation]
  • Finally, an answer to that one big question everyone in America has been searching for all year: What rhymes with "hug me?" Heads up: awesome audio automatically plays. Please use this awesome gift responsibly. [What Rhymes With Hug.Me]
  • Do you get upset easily at what you consider to be bad customer service? Well, have you considered that just maybe, it's because you're being a bad customer? While I'd be lying if I said I've never gotten unreasonably upset over some stray mustard on my cheeseburger, as someone who works in customer service, not only can I relate, but I believe we'd all be a little better off if everyone else did, too. [HuffPost]
  • I don't know if you've heard, but apparently that one guy from Good Will Hunting (no, not that guy, the other guy) is going to play some billionaire dude in a movie. And it must be set on Halloween, because apparently his character dresses like a bat? [Vulture]
  • I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "J-Mill, yeah, I love beer, but I wish I had a few good reasons to drink more of it. A multiple of 7, perhaps, would be sufficient." Well, you're in luck sir, as I have 21 legitimately great reasons to drink more beer! You can thank me by buying the next round (an IPA would be great, thanks)! [Buzzfeed]

VIDEO:

This week marks the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's famous "I Have a Dream" speech. So what better way to honor this historic moment in our country's history than to pit Dr. King one-on-one against Gandhi in a rap battle? I can think of none!


It's Sunday, so later today Brian will drop by from the St. Louis Game Time Prospects Department HQ to bring you everything you need to know about the Traverse City prospects tournament.

    Hey, did you find the funniest video/article/whateverthefuck on the internet? Remember that sharing is caring, so send it along to Donut King so we can all share the experience together - that's called a society!

    If you pretend that you're catholic and this is lent and you gave up hockey for lent, by the start of the regular season, you'll have...broken...never mind, fuck it - there's less than 40 days until Opening Night!

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