Wednesday Links - America, The Ugly

Phil Kessel is one ugly ass dude. And that is one ugly ass sweater. - Bruce Bennett

Petro doesn't want to hold out. Team USA Hockey reveals some ugly ass sweaters. Bobby Ryan speaks. Jamie Benn is pissed. SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE. NASCAR viewers bitch a lot to the FCC. And people getting hit by balls. Hump day, y'all.

So hey, I see a bunch of my links showing up on the St. Louis Game Time Facebook Group, well after I posted them and people acting like it's "fresh news" to them.

So does anyone actually read these fucking things? Am I chopped liver? What the bloody hell, y'all?

Anyway, I only care enough to bitch. Your links.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Alex Pietrangelo doesn't think he's gonna hold out, but isn't really thinking about it right now, according to Mark Masters. [TSN]
  • Hildy's "Meet The New Central Division" series moves to the Twin Cities, where we see a picture of Zenon Konopka's pet bunny. [SLGT]
  • As long as USA wins gold, I don't give a shit . . . but not even David Backes can make the 2014 USA Hockey sweater - unveiled yesterday by Nike - look good. That thing is fucking brutal. [SLGT]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Bobby Ryan has no bad feelings against the Ducks after his offseason trade to the Senators . Or at least that's what he says. (I call bullshit because of course I do.) [Puck Daddy]
  • Sean McIndoe, better known as Down Goes Brown, gives us a list of players who are the NHL's equivalent of MLB's Brady Anderson . . . one-hit wonders. Several former Blues on this list, but only one whose season in question was AS a Blue . . . Wayne Babych! [Grantland]
  • Americans are ugly. Just look at these photos of American hockey players. It's like they had Gunnery Sgt. Hartman on the other side of the camera yelling "SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE", but they don't even try. [Puck Daddy]
  • If the Dallas Stars name anyone other than Jamie Benn as their Captain, they are dumber than shit. Benn, though, is not dumber than shit. He answered a few questions upon his and his brother's arrival to Texas for Stars camp. His answer to the question about the Canadian Olympic snub is . . . well, valid and relevant. [Stars / Inside Edge]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Jalopnik requested records of all FCC complaints received from NASCAR viewers over several years. There were over 18,000 records, so they pared it down . . . and apparently, NASCAR viewers hate boner pills and people saying "fuck" and "shit". NASCAR viewers would really hate Game Time. [Jalopnik]
  • Switzerland rolled out its' new drive-in "sex boxes", and apparently they are a rousing success . . . and probably an arousing success, too. (Goddamnit, I can do better than that.) [Y! / Reuters]
  • Speaking of fucking . . . these two were caught banging on a soccer pitch after a 0-0 tie. But apparently they were booted from the pitch before they finished. So the game remained scoreless. (JESUS FUCK, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO BETTER THAN THIS.) [Deadspin]

VIDEO:

Matt Ufford is awesome. My recording partner in crime, CrossCheckRaise, agrees and therefore sent this along . . . a piece about reporters getting hit with balls at sporting events.

These ALL win.

Episode 6 of Beyond Checkerdome posts this afternoon. Give it a listen. Or don't. But please do.

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