Friday Links: St. Louis Game Time Court

Hagen Hopkins

Welcome to St. Louis Game Time Court. The cases are bullshit. The people are (unfortunately) real. The rulings are final. Also, bullshit, though they're the fun kind of bullshit.

All rise, Game Time Kangaroo Court is now in session, the Honorable Judge J-Mill presiding.

We will now hear arguments for Dude on Facebook Page v. Tyler "Donut King" Atwood...

[reads case]

...are you fucking kidding me? Case dismissed.

Now, links anyone?

BLUES NEWS:

  • The Blues opened training camp yesterday. Here's some official pictures to prove it. [Blues]
  • You want to see the Blues practices? Here's the low down on the when and the how. [Blues]
  • A new year, a new helmet for Brian Elliott. Have a looksie for yourself! Sticktap to Kahokamo. [In Goal Mag]
  • If you're going to create some St. Louis Blues/My Little Pony cross-over fan art, you've got to have some imagination, I will grant you that. [Backes to the Future] (Great blog name, BTW)
  • In case you missed it, yesterday we helped you learn How-To Hate the Minnesota Wild. Another dandy from our friends over at Battle of California. [SLGT]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Yesterday must've been 'Hate on the Minnesota Wild Day in America!' At exactly the same time as my interview went up, Sarah Connors of Stanley Cup of Chowder (and also sometimes here, too) decided to throw some shit on our northern-midwestern neighbors. [SCoC]
  • Jeff Gordon has 10 burning questions about the upcoming NHL season. He doesn't exactly try to answer them, but ultimately in life, it's the asking of the question that's far more important than the finding out of the answer. I guess...just click the damn link. [STLToday]
  • Patrick Roy doesn't want Erik Johnson to live in the past. That's actually some really sound advice, seeing as Erik Johnson's past sucks ass. [Denver Post]
  • As always, there are a handful of really good players who could be beginning their final year in the NHL. And also as always, those players are Martin Brodeur, Teemu Selanne, and Jaromir Jagr. Also, others. [Spector's Hockey]
  • Kyle Wellwood is so fat...(How fat is he?)...Kyle Wellwood is so fat, he was going to sign a one-year deal in Switzerland, but then he got hungry and ate the last 11 months. (Laugh track; applause) [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! The only enjoyable aspect of the shoot-out - the chance for a spin-o-rama move that everyone can bitch about for a few days afterward - will still be legal this year! [SBNation NHL]
  • People Google weird ass stuff - and somehow always end up on Battle of California. People have questions for their Google search, so Jer does everyone a favor and answers them. [BoC]

UN-HOCKEY NEWS:

  • As long as I live, I'll never write anything as good as this headline: "Feral pig 'drinks 18 cans of beer, fights cow and then passes out drunk under tree.'" You're welcome, you feral pigs! [Metro]
  • You want to play a game? Every time you click the cookie, you make a cookie. You make enough, then you can pay people to make more. Exponential growth, bitches! Try and beat my cookie score: I just passed 9 BILLION. That's right. With a 'B.' [Cookie Clicker]
  • Some guys shot a surrealist/horror movie in Disney World...without the permission of The Almighty Mouse. Not only have they avoided litigation (so far), but they were the buzz of Sundance. Here's a link to some more information, including a release date and a trailer for Escape From Tomorrow. [Huff Post]
  • We all had a few laughs at Minnesota's expense yesterday, but according to these studies, Minnesotans seem to be the least fucked-up people in America. So good for them! Your NHL team still sucks, but at least you've got a level head on your shoulders! [Tumblr]

VIDEOS:

Since everyone wants to get so litigious around here (and by "around here" I mean "on our Facebook page"), Weird Al wants in on the fun.


Here's another music video I found while searching along that topic. I've never heard of this band or this song before, but I think I like it. This video though, it's...well, just make sure you've had your coffee this morning first.


This court hereby rules that each and every one of you must send me some link and/or video to post this weekend or beyond.

I also rule that you must return a little later this morning to check out a little piece I wrote. It's really good, I promise. Unless it's not - but...whatever, parties are dismissed.

[GAVEL BANG]

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