Saturday Links: I SAY IT'S DUCK SEASON!!!

Jeff Gross

The return of the Cleveland Steener, Jake Muzzin is allowed to be terrible, a conversation with John Tortorella, badass women in history who also probably wouldn't be allowed to direct, a Heisman Trophy-winning moor... Basically you should just click everything today. I'm serious.

You thought Thursday was a tough game? Hoo-boy...

I try not to give you guys any skip-able links any day, but there sure as hell aren't any today! Take your time, if you have it.

BLUES NEWS:

  • [Intro music plays] Ladies and gentlemen...please welcome back from The Quiet Room and the injured reserved list, from Winnipeg, Manitoba...ALEXANDERRRRRRR STEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!! [SLGT]
  • VERY IMPORTANT NOTE FOR ANYONE GOING TO TONIGHT'S GAME: Every lane of I-70 is currently closed between Pine Street & the Poplar Street Bridge and will be until 5am Monday morning. Use 64, 55, or 44. Or MetroLink, if you're feeling adventurous. [MoDOT]
  • Did Jake Muzzin spit on some Blues fans after leaving the ice on Thursday night? Probably, because he's a scumbag. [Frozen Notes]
  • CanesAndBluesFan starts what looks like a series of pieces discussing advanced meticians' past attempt to develop an all-encompassing statistic to compare the across-the-board values of both skaters and goalies equally (mostly), and why we still don't have such a thing, at least not a reliable one, yet. If you're a baseball SABRmetician, it's basically trying to find the hockey equivalent of WAR. [SLGT]
  • A new weekly feature on everyone's favorite Conference III blog is a division-wide round table, and our very own Duke of the Bear Claw, Tyler, is the Blues representative. Be sure to look for it every Friday from here on out. [III Communication]

KNOW YOUR ENEMY - THE ANAHEIM DUCKS:

  • The Not-So-Mighty Ducks played the Blackhawks last night and lost 4-2. So while it does prove that they are in fact a team of mere mortals, expect the number one team in the NHL to be hungry and motivated tonight. Good. Bring it, bitches. [Anaheim Calling]
  • This is a couple days old now, but don't miss the conversation @JerMeansWell (a must-follow for tonight, BTW) once had with John Tortorella. And while you're over there, check out their pregame coverage for tonight as well. [Battle of California]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • As of press time, NHL.com is being all crazy-town-banana-pants so here's their main page. You're all adults (unless you're not), so I trust you guys can find last night's scores & tonight's schedule yourselves. There were only two games last night & you're not going to find a juicier game tonight than ours anyway. [NHL.com]
  • The other game last night saw the Blue Jackets beat the Capitals 5-1. [Japers' Rink]
  • Speaking of scumbag Jake Muzzin, there has yet to be an NHL disciplinary hearing scheduled for his leaping elbow-to-the-head of Vladimir Sobotka on Thursday. However, the Goddamn Motherfucking LA Kings didn't play last night, so it's not out of the question for one to be scheduled later today, but it's not looking likely. Fuck that prick. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • We've got a new batch of Jersey Fouls, including one our own DanGNR sent in. I saw those back in October, and I actually want to give them a pass, because they're only ruining the mere glorified pajama tops called baseball uniforms, as opposed to the sacred robes of the hockey sweater. Personally, I think this one I found on Tuesday night is much more egregious. [Puck Daddy]
  • On Thursday night, P.K. Subban scored an overtime winner for the Canadiens against the Senators and went mad with excitement. This upset some people, particularly Bruce Garrioch of the Ottawa Sun and Don Cherry because apparently some people are so jaded and bullheaded that any joy in the game of hockey must be eradicated. Fuck those people. [SBNation NHL]
  • I'm...uh...just going to leave this right here... [Die By the Blade]
  • All 14 nations who'll be playing hockey in Sochi next month (including the women) have either officially released or leaked what their jerseys will look like, and our Bostonian friends over at SCoC has compiled them all for your convenience. If there's a hockey team anywhere in the world - club or country - with a more iconic look than Sweden, I've yet to see them. Sticktap to Hildy, kind of (it's okay, I get days of the week fucked up too). [Stanley Cup of Chowder]

UN-HOCKEY RELATED THINGS:

  • Lexi Alexander is a film director/screenwriter (she wrote Green Street Hooligans, one of my best friend's favorite movies) has some real talk with the people who are supposedly "working diligently" yet failing miserably to give more and better opportunities in Hollywood for women directors. In light of the complete lack of women nominated by the Oscars in any major production or post-production category, Ashley, aka, a female editor, wanted to bring this to our attention, and I for one thank her for it. [Indiewire]
  • Sure you know about Joan of Arc or Marie Curie, but there are tons of other truly badass women throughout all of history that you've probably never heard of. Here are 7 (plus a handful of others). We're all about breaking that glass ceiling today on Game Time! [Global Post]
  • Plenty of former athletes try to get into acting after their playing days are done, but former Ohio Sate/Tennessee Titans running back Eddie George is taking it one step further into Elizabethan territory, as he stars this month in Othello at the Nashville Shakespeare Festival. Othello, BTW, is the best thing Shakespeare ever wrote, and if anyone disagrees, I will bite my thumb at them; which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it. (Romeo & Juliet, Act I, scene i - and yes I know I'm mixing my Shakespearean tragedy references...deal with it, shitbirds.)
  • You may have heard of KSDK Channel 5's recent botched school safety investigation at Kirkwood High School the other day that caused the school to go on lock down for 40 minutes. After that horrifyingly epic failure, here are some other investigations KSDK should try, like poisoning the food at a local restaurant to see if the health inspector is doing his or her job. [Riverfront Times]

VIDEOS:

This should get you ready to handle the Mallard Menace tonight. No word on if Wild Wing is a "fricasseeing duck" or not.


Your Science Saturday is actually pretty frightening - bananas could end up going extinct. I'm not huge on eating bananas myself, but there's always money in their stands.


Who wants a sticktap? Do yooou want a sticktap? Then you'll have to be a good boy and/or girl and send me some links!

Just to recap: references to Shakespeare,The Alan Parsons Project, Arrested Development, institutionalized misogyny in film-making, The Loony Toons, the possible extinction of bananas, a healthy dose of "fucks" & "shitbirds," and if you followed your links like you're supposed to, Hedy Lamarr? All in a day's work!

Specifically, a game day. Check back throughout the day for previews and whatnot. Also, don't forget about I-70. Get your popcorn ready. Also, your fucking hockey team, Ken Hitchcock.

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