Wednesday Links - Green Beltholders

"Know how ya feel, man." -- Jaroslav Halak - Dilip Vishwanat

CIII Belt now in Dallas. No shit, Andy. LeBrun with Miller. Bouwmeester/Miller GIF magic. Stewart done for year? Raty signs. Canucks are dumb. PUT HOCKEY IN SEATTLE, FUCKERS. Phaneuf Pha-whiffs. Sad OHL news. Pennies. Handsomeness. Meat. And videos.

18-0-2 against what just may be the best division in the league. Yeah, this team blows. TRADE EVERYONE. #Asylum'd

BLUES NEWS:

  • Jamie Benn tallied one late in overtime to give the Stars a 3-2 OT victory over the Blues, claiming the Conference III Title Belt in the process. I mean, I can't even be mad. Looked like Ashley, aka FalseKinglikeBeing, couldn't be too mad either. [SLGT]
  • First thing I heard when I finally got back to my apartment yesterday, which was somewhere in the middle of first intermission, was Andy Strickland. I wanted to die (Dude has a voice for print and face for radio, and may not even be fit for THOSE gigs, now that I think of it). Then, later, he tweeted this . . . and in Impromptu Project Mayhem fashion, plenty of smart folks bashed him for it, and I was happy. Maybe he'll accidentally reply to me while trying to block me again sometime this week. [SLGT]
  • Pierre LeBrun caught up with Ryan Miller to talk about his first week-and-a-half with his new team. (S/T to CrossCheckRaise and FlickAuVin) [ESPN / Cross Checks Blog]
  • Someone saw the video I posted yesterday with Jay Bouwmeester punching Flames goalies and provided a GIF of the incident between him and Ryan Miller that I referred to beforehand. He shall be commended. (S/T to @heyromanowski) [Twitter / @heyromanowski]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Scores. Nine of 'em. [NHL.com 03/11/14]
  • Sked. Four games. Your Designated Eastern Conference Rivalry of the Week is . . . Bruins-Canadiens. Yeah, actually, for once, a good one. Those two do not fucking like each other. Also, the Avalanche(s) and Blackhawks battle for second in Conference III. Yeah, no shit. [NHL.com 03/12/14]
  • Remember our old pal Chris Stewart? He played 2 games for the Sabres. He HAD been a (kinda) contributor on a playoff team/Cup contender, then was traded to what might arguably be the worst team in the NHL. And now, he's probably done for the season with an ankle injury. Boy, how the mighty can fall. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • Finnish women's goaltender Noora Raty, she of the perfect season at the University of Minnesota and very impressive Olympic resume for Suomi who had apparently "retired" after Sochi at the age of 24, signed a deal with Kiekko Vantaa of the Mestis League, a second-tier Finnish men's league. Hope she tears shit up there. [YLE.FI]
  • A day after a massive home collapse by the Canucks, they announced that their concessions staff provider will not be there next year. SCAPEGOATS. [Pass It To Bulis]
  • The NHL is polling fans on how viable Seattle and Las Vegas are as hockey cities. Oh, NHL, I'll tell you how viable Seattle is. (FUCKING DO IT NOW SO I CAN GO TO A BLUES GAME WITHOUT LEAVING THE COUNTRY, PRICKS.) [Puck Daddy]
  • During a largely turdiriffic game with the Sharks last night, Maple Leafs Captain Dion Phaneuf went for a big hit but missed and instead hit James van Riemsdyk . . . who, if you don't know, is his teammate. van Riemsdyk was injured on the play. Naturally. [The Leafs Nation]
  • Absolutely heart-rending news from Michigan yesterday . . . the body of Terry Trafford, a Saginaw Spirit (OHL) player that had gone missing, was found in his car at a local Walmart parking lot. Only 20 years old. When someone you know has personal issues, please . . . PLEASE . . . listen to them. [Pro Hockey Talk]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington once paid a MLB fine of $200 in nothing but pennies. Which would be nothing, if I didn't recall the time a fraternity brother of mine paid a $20 campus parking fine with nothing but pennies too. I mean, this takes some serious fucking balls, man. [SB Nation]
  • Wanna sell something to corporate America? Be a handsome dude. Welp. I'm fucked. [Y! / Reuters]
  • The United States of Meat. They put Rocky Mountain Oysters on Montana only because of our dumbass Testicle Festival over in nearby Clinton. We should've had the elk and gave the oysters to Wyoming. Dicks. [Slate]

VIDEOS:

What happens when I get plenty of videos? You get plenty of double video links posts!

First, Les Miserables, as performed by the Sesame Street crew (S/T to Kate):

)

Fucks Given: Zero.

Next . . . if I didn't like Imagine Dragons, I'd think this was just stupid. But I dunno, I kinda dig it, though the person that sent this to me says the Avs can't be taken seriously now. Which, well, when were they ever? (S/T to @ChrisAhner):

)

RADIOACTIVE. RADIOACTIVE.

Send links, yo! Do it! Go:

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