Tuesday Links - Cheap Tix, Dinosaurs & More!

If these two factor in this series in any way, things have gone terribly wrong. - Jonathan Daniel

Blues get a much-needed day off, have cheap playoff tickets and are the West favorites for some reason, plus other stuff and a video about VELOCIRAPTORS, MOTHERFUCKER. Click things. It's your human right, Goddamnit!

Things are so weird right now, man. I mean, it's the playoffs, but no one fucking cares.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Stanley Cup bracket contest! J-Mill with the deets. [SLGT]
  • Blues playoff tickets are cheap, so maybe buy some tickets and keep Blackhawks fans away, eh? How is asking for a home-ice advantage considered "shaming"? [SLGT]
  • Despite shitting not just the bed but the bedroom carpet and master bedroom bathtub over the last 12 games or so, the Blues are still Bovada's pick to win the Western Conference. You guys have fun with that. [SLGT]
  • After playing eight games in 13 days and having a literal fuck-ton of injuries to finish the season, the Blues just needed yesterday off. And that's just what they got. [In The Slot / Lou Korac]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • The firings and non-renewals to end the season started with one Barry Trotz with the Predators, which everyone pretty much saw coming but was sad about because, I mean, the dude was there FOREVER. [Predators]
  • Who's not out that may have been on a hot seat? First, Devils coach Peter DeBoer (whose doppleganger once sang about an Easy Lover) . . . [Fire N Ice]
  • . . . and then, on a bit more of a surprising basis, Islanders coach Jack Capuano. [Long Island Newsday]
  • Speaking of the Isles, call-up Justin Johnson, obviously a southpaw, knocked John Scott out. Scott is 6'8", Johnson is like 5'8" (though they list him at 5'10"), so this is awesome. Seriously, fuck John Scott. [CBS Sports Eye On Hockey]
  • Also speaking of the Isles, their farm team--the Bridgeport Sound Tigers--had to postpone an AHL playoff game because of a foam party gone awry the prior night in their building. [Puck Daddy]
  • Todd McLellan is being a dick about naming his starting goaltender for Game 1. Guys, if it's not Antti Niemi, I might fall over and die. (WARNING: Autoplay Video) [CSN Bay Area]
  • Alex Ovechkin was rather candid in his exit interview. Basically, "Don't blame me because I did my job". Maybe not wise to say if you're the Captain of a fallen ship. [Puck Daddy]
  • The Penguins recalled goaltender Tomas Vokoun, who--if you may recall--missed the whole season because of a blood clot. Good for him. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
  • A bunch of undergarments recently appeared on the ice in Bakersfield. No, Hal Gill wasn't burned again for a goal. [Puck Daddy]
  • John Tortorella and Bob Hartley don't like each other. Tortorella says things. Brian Burke tells him he shouldn't do that. [Nichols On Hockey]
  • Ranking the playoff series by a number of random "Must See TV" factors. The Blues-Blackhawks series, not shockingly, is only behind the Kings-Sharks series . . . which is going to be in-fucking-sane. [Puck Daddy]
  • And Puck Daddy starts their playoff series previews with the Ducks-Stars tilt. It's a take-off of Tinder. I honestly have the vaguest idea of what the fuck Tinder even is, so these previews are going to be Goddamn confusing but probably enjoyable because I'm old but easily entertained by stupid shit. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • The Cardinals beat the Brewers 4-0 and ended the Brew Crew's 9-game winning streak, but who cares? The Chorizo bit the dirt in the sausage race! [Deadspin]
  • Fuck your obituary. Just announce it with three words (translating to "I am dead"). Like this Swedish fella. [Y! Odd News]
  • Pretty sure no one has thought of U.S. Airways in a few years. Well, people knew who they were yesterday. (WARNING: VERY VERY VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK IMAGE . . . VERY.) [Deadspin Concourse]

VIDEO:

John Green talks to his brother Hank about . . . VELOCIRAPTORS, DUDE . . . because his son told him to:

BECAUSE "VELOCIRAPTOR" DOOOOOOES SOUND COOL.

Send links. Send videos. Send anything but playoff tickets, because I can't go, sorry:

Not sure what everyone else's plans are around here writing-wise, but I'll probably be throwing up a "How To Hate" on you-know-who in the next couple days, so stay tuned for that.

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