Friday Links - Cover Vote? Schmover Vote!

Neither T.J. Oshie nor Matt Duchene are going to win the damn NHL 15 cover vote. But whatever, I'm showing you Oshie's three videos anyway. That and some other shit, including the most beautiful ode to Willie McGee you will ever read.

Nope. Not gonna win. Not happening.

BLUES NEWS:

Other than the cover vote nonsense . . . there's not much to talk about around the Blues this morning.

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Your final Division Championship Round (I doubt that's a real title, but I'm using it anyway because FUCK GARY BETTMAN) game will be Game Seven of the very entertaining Kings-Ducks series at the Pond in Anaheim. 8pm CDT, so set your drinking schedules accordingly. [NHL.com 05/16/14]
  • The handshake line is hockey's worst tradition, and I would have no qualms if it just went away one day without anyone noticing. It looks like Greg Wyshynski agrees. Bless his heart. [Puck Daddy]
  • So whatever team signs UFA center/tough guy Zenon Konopka this summer, if there are any, will not get him for the first 20 games of his contract because he failed a drug test. [USA Today]
  • Sharks GM Doug Wilson says Brent Burns will be moved back to defense next season and Martin Havlat and Dan Boyle will not return to the team. [San Francisco Examiner]
  • A pair of eulogies . . . first, for the Penguins, it's some guy from a Blue Jackets blog I've never heard of . . . [Puck Daddy]
  • . . . then, for the Wild(s), it's Avalanche(s) blogger Jibblescribbits. Even throws in an Elie Wiesel quote. Holy shit. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday writes the most beautiful ode to former Cardinals outfielder (and man who should have his number retired) Willie McGee that I think anyone will ever write. This is magnificent in many, many ways. (S/T to J-Mill, who insisted that this just COULD NOT wait until tomorrow . . . and I agree fully) [SB Nation]
  • Donald Sterling is gonna lawyer up. Well no shit. Hope he loses. Prick. [Deadspin]
  • Here's some info and a chart about major sports and political leanings. (REMEMBER: GODDAMNIT, DO NOT DISCUSS POLITICS IN THE COMMENTS. THIS IS JUST FOR PRESENTATION PURPOSES AND NOT MEANT TO MAKE ANY POINT ABOUT ANY POLITICAL PARTY OR AFFILIATION.) [SB Nation]
  • Some college students wanted to know why the couch they bought from Salvation Army was so damn lumpy. So they peeked into the seat cushions and . . . welp, that's beer money for the next decade. [Y! / The Sideshow]

VIDEOS:

Anyway, just because T.J. Oshie isn't going to win the NHL 15 cover vote and just because I don't care if he wins or not . . . doesn't mean I can't show you his cover vote videos! First . . . basketball:

Then, baseball:

Then, football:

Yep, stick with hockey, bud. Please.

Anyway, I'm done for the week. Finally. J-Mill has your Saturday and Sunday links, if he gets around to doing them either day. Have links? Have vids? Have weird shit? You know you do! Send 'em his way:

And . . . player report cards are coming . . . soon. You're gonna love mine.

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