Monday Links - Brandon McFlopperson

FLOP COMING! SWERVE! - Jonathan Daniel

Prospects and Worlds update. Fuck Chicago. Fuck Los Angeles. Fuck Detroit. Fuck everything. Bollig flops. Turdwin Snob. Umberger may be available (DISMISSIVE WANKING MOTION). Dumbass in my home area. And Mario is a douche. Coffee up!

Fuck Chicago. Fuck Los Angeles.

But more importantly . . . Fuck Detroit.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Beyond Checkerdome Episode 43 was recorded yesterday. We took a couple weeks off, as we'll do all summer between most shows.
  • Prospect Sunday! Brian covers the week that was in prospects (including a bit of a wrap on the Wolves' season, which ended in a sweep by the Toronto Marlies) as well as his "Silver Seven" for the Blues in "The '14 File". [SLGT; SLGT]
  • The NHL 15 cover vote for the first round, which involved T.J. Oshie, has ended. Which means your timeline won't have #NHL15Oshie all over it . . . unless he defeated Matt Duchene, then you'll see it for another two weeks, at least. Anyway, we'll find out the results of that . . . later today.
  • Blues forward Vladimir Sobotka scored the lone goal in a 1-0 Czech Republic victory over Norway at the IIHF World Championships. [IIHF Worlds 2014]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Fuck Chicago. [The Committed Indian]
  • Fuck Los Angeles. [Jewels From The Crown]
  • Le Fart Noise (The Canadiens) host the Rags (the Rangers) in Game 2 tonight. Michel Therrien says Carey Price may not be available, which is probably code for "He'll be in there". [NHL.com]
  • Anagrams of Kings and Blackhawks players, coaches and management. I move that Dustin Brown legally change his name to "Turdwin Snob". [Deadspin]
  • Alec Martinez is 6'1", 209lbs and is not known for being overly physical. Brandon Bollig is 6'2", 223lbs and is known for being, essentially, Chicago's lone enforcer. You tell me if Bollig--who, as we all know, is from St. Chuck--flopped here. I say . . . totally, and it worked. Martinez went to the box for roughing and the Blackhawks scored on the ensuing man advantage. [@myregularface]
  • Speaking of the aforementioned "Turdwin Snob" . . . here he is, going in for a hit on Marian Hossa and getting lit up like a Goddamn firecracker. [@myregularface]
  • Alex Ovechkin is pretty good at hockey. But he's playing in the IIHF Worlds right now, and he sustained a leg injury during Russia's game with Germany last night. He was carried off and sent to the hospital for an MRI. He later tweeted out that he was okay (well, I think he did . . . I can't particularly understand Russian . . . but a "thumbs up" is usually a good sign). [Puck Daddy]
  • Looks like the Blue Jackets are going to trade R.J. Umberger this summer. He has three years remaining on a contract that pays him $4.5MM/year, but at a $4.6MM/year cap hit. (NOTE TO DOUG ARMSTRONG: Ummmmmmm . . . NO.) [Blue Jackets Xtra]

OTHER SHIT:

  • For the uneducated . . . Williamson, Illinois used to be known as "Rural Staunton", which means it basically used to (kinda, technically, but not really) be a part of the town I grew up in. Anyway, here's something some asshole my age (one I honestly don't know from Adam, oddly enough) did there at the one bar in town (at least I THINK there's still only one). [Y! / Odd News]
  • Meanwhile, in my current neck of the woods . . . over the weekend, a couple did their wedding at the local ice rink where they both met while playing rec league hockey a few years ago. [KPAX 8]
  • Ow. [Deadspin]

VIDEO:

Piggybacking on Jason's Game of Thrones-themed Mario video from yesterday, we get the Cracked crew wondering whether or not Mario was secretly a douchebag. (S/T to CrossCheckRaise):


Yep. He's a total douche.

Links? Vids? Other shit? Surely you have things you can send along:

Those player grades are coming, I swear.

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