Wednesday Links - Hockeyless Tuesday

Here's Satan playing against the Devils four years ago. - Jim McIsaac

Correct links. Defense grades. Fuck Chicago. Fuck Los Angeles. Optimism in Montreal? New GM's. Retirements. Displaced ECHL teams. Temporary head tats. Waino. Ear-biting. 120-foot bowling strike. Texas. And food. Did I cover it all?

Oh, hi. Last night didn't have hockey. That was silly. Next time that happens? Friday, apparently. That's even fucking sillier.

BLUES NEWS:

  • I DID fix the link with Blues' GM Doug Armstrong's Q&A with USA Today sent by CanesAndBluesFan that was supposed to go in yesterday's links. I do NOT know how I screwed that up. Anyway, I'll post it again, because it's worth a read. [USA Today]
  • Grades for Blues defensemen from a bunch of idiots who write about Blues hockey some of the St. Louis Game Time staff went up yesterday. Not too many surprises. [SLGT]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • No games last night. Suckage, bro.
  • J-Mill's favorite two teams in the world, namely "Those Fuckers Up North" (The Blackhawks) and "Those Assholes Out West" (The Kings), square off in Game Two of the Western Conference Finals tonight. [NHL.com 05/21/14]
  • 10 reasons the Canadiens should be optimistic, despite their 2-0 hole heading to MSG. [Puck Daddy]
  • According to Darren Dreger, Jim Benning will be the next general manager of the Canucks . . . but they're acting as though he may not get to officially take over until July due to obligations with the Bruins until then. [TSN]
  • Meanwhile, for the Capitals . . . the Wayne Gretzky/Doug MacLean rumors are getting a bit hot now. [Puck Daddy]
  • A couple retirements yesterday made official . . . first, former Sabres scorer (and butt-end of devil-worshipping jokes) Miroslav Satan . . . [Buffalo News]
  • . . . and Radek Bonk, who I thought retired like 10 years ago, but apparently was still hanging on in Europe. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • The ECHL's Las Vegas Wranglers, one of the more innovative ECHL teams as far as marketing is concerned, will have to take next year off because they don't have an arena. [KVVU 5]
  • The mayor of Thunder Bay, Ontario is a Bruins fan and made a bet with a Thunder Bay radio host (and Habs fan) regarding that last series the two teams played. Because he lost, the mayor must wear a spray-painted Habs logo tattoo on his bald head until it washes off. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Adam Wainwright gave a boner-inducing performance last night for the Cardinals. A one-hitter. I hear that's pretty fucking good. [StL Today]
  • Meanwhile, in other parts of the baseball world, former Major League catcher Miguel Olivo is biting people's ears off in dugout fights, apparently, down in Albuquerque. That seems excessive. [SB Nation]
  • As much as I love bowling, I don't consider it a sport. But there is a considerable amount of skill involved in this activity. And a 120-foot strike? Yeah, that's . . . ummmm, pretty damn good. [Gizmodo / Sploid]
  • Texas! High school! Football! (or should it be "Texis! Hah Skoo! Foot bawl!" . . ? I dunno. Whatever.) [Y! / AP]

VIDEO:

60 regional foods that you shouldn't eat anywhere else. WHERE DOES JOHN GREEN FIND THE FUCKING TIME TO SHOOT THESE THINGS?!:

And of course . . . chitlins to start off. Mmmmmm, chitlins.

Send your links, videos and other shit to me for safe-keeping, then find them on the links tomorrow! Do it like this:

And swing by later for Beyond Checkerdome Episode 43, which of course was recorded RIGHT before the Brian Elliott signing . . . and perhaps some goalie grades? I dunno when those are going up, but that'll be soon.

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