Friday Links: If I Say LEBRON JAMES DECIDES More People Will Read This

Dilip Vishwanat

Sobotka is leaving, but Homestar Runner is returning, so it's pretty much a wash, right?

No, nothing in this post has anything to do with LeBron James, the Cleveland Cavaliers, or the Miami Heat. But thanks for the page visits! But please stick around anyway - we'll have some punch & pie later!

Well, yesterday was a day, was it not? Let's recap - links style!

BLUES NEWS:

  • In case you owned a time machine and used it for the sole purpose of skipping Thursday to go from Wednesday night to Friday morning (the freakin' weekend, amirite?), the big news is that the NHL's best 4th line center/worst 2nd line center Vladimir Sobotka has grown upset enough over contract negotiations that he's to accept an offer from Omsk of the KHL. [Puck Daddy]
  • Either as a direct response or on a completely unrelated note, the Blues re-singed Steve Ott for 2 years at $2.6 million against the cap. [Blues]
  • Here's what Hildy thought - plus a poll, where we can hear what you think. [SLGT]
  • You can also find out what Doug Armstrong himself thought it all, via his press conference call. [Blues Video]
  • In potentially happier news, the Blues may have developed a diamond in the rough in defenseman Colton Parayko, who since being drafted in the 3rd round in 2012, has tacked on 26 lbs of mass, making him a 6'5" 219-pound bulldozer. [STLToday]
  • Childhood Trauma passes along a truly traumatic video of Ian Cole talking about his childhood (see what I did there?). It's traumatic because the subject is his childhood love affair with the '90s Detroit Red Wings. Watch at your own risk. [Red Wings]
HOCKEY NEWS:
  • I missed yesterday's links (I'll explain why later), so I missed some of Wednesday's biggest stories. The biggest being that Rocky & Bullwinkle were signed to matching 8 year extensions, making them both tied for the highest paid players in the NHL at over $10 million a year each. With that kind of money, they'll be able afford a pretty big bunk bed. [SBNation NHL]
  • Also signed to a long-term extension for probably too much money was New Jersey Devils goalie Cory Schneider, who got $42 million over 7 years for a $6 million cap hit that Jersey will in no way regret 4 years from now. [In Lou We Trust]
  • And the low-risk, high-reward signing of the week goes to the Anaheim Ducks for inking drunk driving murderer former sniper Dany Heatley for only $1 million for a year. Did you know that 5 Dany Heatleys equals 1 Andrew MacDonald? More fun with math! [Battle of California]
  • The Ducks are also getting new jerseys this season - but don't worry, they're still pretty shitty. Have a look yourself. [The Hockey News]
  • When fall finally rolls around, the AHL will a bit of a different look to it, including a move towards 3-on-3 overtime (after 4-on-4), something that holy hell would I love to see in the NHL. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER THINGS:
  • It turns out that the sports apparel company Warrior doesn't just make horrendously grotesque soccer jerseys, they also hate women's sports. Also, just women too it turns out. [Sporting News]
  • During Argentina's grueling semifinal victory over the Netherlands on Wednesday in a penalty kick shootout, Javier Mascherano absolutely worked his ass off to stop a golden Dutch scoring chance late into extra time! And apparently I mean "worked his ass off" literally - the Argentine midfielder claims to have "torn [his] anus" on that play. [Deadspin]
  • Before xkcd, before Cyanide & Happiness, before even YouTube itself, the Internet was nothing but two things: porn and Homestar Runner. After years of dormancy, it seems that the whole gang is making a comeback. Now if only you could find porn anywhere nowadays... [Relevant Magazine]
  • We're now over halfway through 2014, and there have been a shit ton of babies born already. The fastest growing boys name among them: Archer. DAAANGER ZOOONE!!! [UpRoxx]


VIDEOS:


Homestar Runner hasn't updated regularly in 4 years, so I imagine that Strong Bad has quite a few unread emails at this point.









True story - I missed yesterday's links because I feel asleep watching so many of these to find the ones I most wanted to post! Here's a bonus one:









I also have an email. Send me things there. Or on Twitter. Or just find me on the streets and yell out a URL at me. Whatever works for you.

  • jasonmcadams1120 AT gmail DOT com
  • @JMill1120
Later this morning, Robb will bring you a break down of the "trade off" of losing Sobotka and keeping Steve Ott. You may want to make sure you've had your coffee first.

Enjoy your weekend, damnit - that's an order!
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