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Something Has Got To Give

By gallagher

Everyone I talked to tonight at the latest crashing plane of a game at the CheckettsDome was fed up. Hardcore fans, casual fans, drunk fans, stupid fans. We've all had enough. Something has to give.

I vote for Kitchen first.

For those of you who picked up the paper, you know my reasons, but hell, I would have fired him the day after the No.16 went to the ceiling and the Blues went to the basement.

But I wouldn't be done there. It's time to scare the shit out of someone around here and I think that firing the coach might make some of the players happy. I don't want any of them happy. I want them scared. Doug Weight - guess who's getting traded again? But this time, your slick-skating ass isn't going to a Cup contender. Nah, you get to spend the rest of '07 up in Calgary, who is still a longshot.

Yes, I'm sure he's a nice guy. Yes, I'm sure that's a total dick move. Yes, I'd do it in a second. Because everyone else needs to be put on notice. Everyone is tradable. Start skating or there's gonna be a problem. Start playing defense or there's going to be a problem. Start doing something or there's going to be a goddamn problem.

If I was the president of this sinking ship I'd be doing more than waking up early and going in to work. Nah, after the post-Brett firing of Kitchen, I'd follow with a move that is reminiscent of the coach in Bull Durham crossed with the DI from Full Metal Jacket: I would have burst into the locker room after the Jackets got done running the team off the ice tonight and I would have called out every pussyheaded bitch in that room and told them that virtually none of them deserve to wear the Bluenote. I'd have collected their jerseys off of their backs right then and there and let them know in no uncertain terms that I would let them have them back when they deserved it.

And if they hadn't been traded and were still around to play the Hawks on Tuesday, I'd give them jerseys back that didn't have their names on them. NHL fines be damned.

Prove to me you want to be a Blue. If you don't, I'll find a new home for you.

Every single one of you.