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In The Locker Room Over At Brett Hull Way…

By Sean Gallagher

No media, no fans. It's just players.

Paul Kariya, Mr Fresh Hair Cut....can you take me higher...where a blind man can see... can you take me...

Keith Tkachuk, Mr Also Just Got A Hair CutHello, Paul.

Paul Kariya, stopped in his tracks.Oh. Uh. Hey, Walt, How's, uh, how's it going?

Keith Tkachuk, none too pleasedOh, just great, Paul. I mean, who wouldn't want to be on a line with a slumping sniper and another guy who wishes he was a slumping sniper? Just great. How are you, buddy?

Paul Kariya, backpedalingWalt, buddy, you know that wasn't my call. I mean, I loved playing with you. It was just that, you know, maybe we're all better off if you and I take a bit of a break. I mean, it's not like a permanent thing, you know? I mean, we could be back together in just a couple months or weeks. Maybe even a couple days....

Keith Tkachuk, bitter(rolls eyes)

Paul Kariya, excusifyingCome on, Walty, it doesn't have to be that way. It's just that this way we're not exclusive. This way we can both see what else is out there. It's a great way to test our relationship and see if we're really right for each other....

Keith Tkachuk, seethingOhhhh, great.

You wanna know what's out there? I can tell you what's out there; you get to be "out there" with a motivated Brad Boyes still! Who am I "out there" with? Lee "I scored 27 times last year" Stempniak! Twenty-seven times? Are you kidding me? I'd scored 27 times by the time I was 21 years old! Great. Just great, Paul.

You know, Paul, I've put everything into this relationship. Everything. The way it's going I'm not exactly headed to the Hall of Fame, am I? I'm not exactly on the "fast track" to a Stanley Cup, am I Paul?

Paul Kariya, silent.

Keith Tkachuk, feeling vindicatedYeah, exactly. All I have left, Paul, is us. Us. Can't you see what you mean to me?

Brad Boyes,'s getting hotter, our burning love, and I just can't get enough, just can't get enough.... just can't get enou...

Keith Tkachuk, newly upset Hello, Bradley.

Brad Lee Boyes, Oblivious.Oh, hey Walt. Pauly.

Keith Tkachuk, shooting daggers with his eyes.

Paul Kariya, warning

Brad Boyes, searching...So, Walt... Stempniak tonight, eh?

Paul Kariya, worried(shaking head, grimacing)

Keith Tkachuk, pissedYeah, Bradley. Stempniak. One Goal Stempniak. You? Oh, wait, I think I have an idea... hmmm... let me think.

You two... of all the people.... I just... I never.... You two.... WHY? WHY? WHY? (turns and storms towards the exit).

Lee Stempniak, excited...walkin' on sunshine, yeah yeah...and it's startin' to feel good!.... Hey, Walt! How's it...

Keith Tkachuk, fleeingNot now! Not NOW!

Lee Stempniak, upset(wheeling) YOU! You two! Look what you've done! That is a great man. And look what you've done! You should be ashamed!

Walt! Walt! Wait! We can fix this....

Paul Kariya, silent

Brad Boyes, silent

Brad Boyes, reachingI told you this was going to be weird. I told you that he was going to....

Paul Kariya, resigned.Not now, Brad. Not now. Let's just get dressed. McClement has apparently been here for hours.

Jay McClement, unbridled enthusiasmPaul! Brad! Check it out, I had these sweet "BK Men" shirts made! Get it? Boyes-Kariya-McClement? BKM? BK Men? Like Burger King Men, but with our names and everything? Get it? The King? King Men? Guys?