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Predictions for the third round.

By Sean Gallagher

So, my (beyond) last second change to the Devils in the last round cost me. The Son of GT, aided by our doubled-up points has pulled him ahead in our predictions by one measly point. A good writer would hold you in suspense until the end to see how this round turns out, but I'm more of a half-assed writer with access to a printer and a website, so I'm gonna let the cat out of the bag: SoGT and I made the same picks for this round and it's going to come down to the Finals to decide who wins this competition.

However, the reasons for our picks couldn't be more different.

Western Conference.

(1) Detroit v (2) Anaheim

My pick: No way I can pick goddamn Detroit and the fake-ass "Hockeytown" fans who didn't even fill out the lower bowl all year (Hockeytown? Really? You can't fill out your lower bowl consistently and yet you persist with "Hockeytown"? Cheaters.). Beyond that I think hope that Anaheim is the better team. They seem to be deeper and more consistent and the Wings losing Schneider is a bigger deal than people want to admit.

All I can say is: please, please don't get beat by the Wings, who hinge on just 4 guys right now: Hasek, Lidstrom, Datsyuk and Zetterberg. After that they have nothing. Ducks in 6 (please).

SoGT: [Ed. Note] Right off the bat I have to interject. SoGT's answers have been pulled together long-term interview style. After he shut me out on his reasons last round, I started working on him two days in advance to get his reasoning. Again, the bastage seems to be holding back - most of the time I can't get him to shut his tiny, smartassy mouth, but when we talk predictions he shuts up faster than his mom does when she gets asked about her friend who may (or may not) be a lesbian - so I have been building up a supply. On another tack, I also have to mention that he saw the movie "The Mighty Ducks" this last weekend for the first time ever. It is clearly shading his views. I hate those Disney asswipes, but they really know what they are doing.]

The Ducks in... what's good, less? The Ducks in five games. No, I know that Coach Bombay doesn't really coach them, that's movies. The Ducks are good, right? Yeah, five. Plus, we HATE the Red Wings.

Eastern Conference.

(1) Buffalo v (4) Ottawa

My pick: Staying with Buffalo although I hear they've got a PK problem. Maybe Jay McKee could have helped with that. Even better, maybe pending UFAs Dan Briere or Chris Drury would be interested in talking to McKee and visiting the Gateway City this summer. A boy can dream, can't he? Sabres in 7.

SoGT pick: Sabres for sure. In five.

[Ed. Note: So, what happens when the lightSabres meet the (no longer Mighty) Ducks in the Finals?]

(interminable silence) Um, what?

[Ed. Note: what happens when the lightSabres play the Ducks in the Finals?]

Is it time for dinner?