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Job Opening With The Blues

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By Brad Lee

For the record, I like my job. I'm not going to tell you what it is, but I like it just fine.

But every once in awhile, I might wander around the Interwebs seeing what's out there. And on the NHL Web site, they have job listings, including one for the St. Louis Blues.

Are you energetic, enthusiatic and out-going?

Sure. Why?

Have you always dreamed about being part of a professional sports team?

Hell and yes. This could be an awesome opportunity. I hope it doesn't turn out to be something lame like executive assistant to Towel Boy.

The St. Louis Blues are seeking such candidates to take on the role of the team's new mascot!

Aw, crap!

·The mascot candidate MUST be able to attend every St. Louis Blues home game.

A mascot at every game. Sounds delightful. Â

·The ideal candidate will be between the height of 5’7” and 5’11”.

Height descrimination sucks. I'm 6'2". Â

·Mascot will be required to be able to skate freely on ice, or be able to learn quickly.

I hope you're paying attention because their advertisement for Ice Girls (a group which may or may not be disbanding) said skating was not required. But someone in a big furry suit, they need to be good on skates. Unbelievable.

·This position will require the candidate be able to wear a costume, approximately 50 pounds, for several hours at a time.

·Candidate MUST have a valid passport to be able to travel to Calgary October 1, 2007 for a costume fitting.

Apparently American-made mascot suits are not good enough.

Look, mascots are probably not that big a deal, when done the right way. Fredbird has been around for years and I don't even think about him when I'm at the game. They keep him on the fringe most of the game and he doens't do stupid stuff to attract attention. Let's hope the mascot the Blues have in mind is more on that scale.

By the way, this isn't the first time the organ-eye-zation talked about a mascot. Below is a picture from Note By Note of the WORST idea in franchise history, the ugliest third sweater known to man that fortunately never saw the light of day and a drawing for a mascot that was never launched. From the picture, I can kind of see why.

That sweater is ungodly ugly and the cat looks stoned.