By Childhood TraumaÂ
It seems the Blues' marketing campaign has to have something in common with Meatloaf. Will they do ANYTHING to get you back? Probably not... so here are the
Top 11 Things The Blues Will (probably) Not Do To Get You Back
11: Sell the stall next to Sen. Larry Craig's as part of a 10-game ticket package.
10: Get Michael Vick to dog-sit for you on game nights.
Â 09: Hire Ann Coulter to give a 9/11 victim's memorial speech.
Â 08: Replace Jamal Mayers with someone who can play hockey.
Â 07: Cancel plans to retire No. 13 during some mid-week Eastern Conference match-up
Â 06: Replace the goal hornÂ blast with the distinctive sound onlyÂ reproducable by havingÂ three midgets jumping on a partially decomposing Pavarotti corpse.
05: Let you enjoy a hot, freshÂ copy of Game Time in the parkingÂ garage.
04: Bat the Goalie 8th.
03: Put Gen. David Petraeus in charge of a "Fan Surge."
02: Get the surviving Beatles together to sing a special version of "Blues Revolution #9."
01: Have Maya Angelou deliver season tickets to the fans, in a crop top..... and nothing else.