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Blues At Hawks Second Period

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Nice.

By Brad Lee

We'll be back with the second in just a moment.

Keryn Shipman wants to make you feel bad if you didn't go outside today. So all of our homebound readers, you've been put on notice. And how the hell does anyone spell Karen as Keryn? Her parents must have been on Angel Dust or something. Or it's her fake porn name or something. By the way, if you're not watching on the CW11, she's a weather moron forecaster.

19:10 Marek Schwarz is in net. Not too surprising. Blues also on a fruitless play. I mean power play.

Gift Says:

Legace has a sore right arm. In an unrelated story, the Cardinals just invited him to spring training with a chance to make the pitching staff.Â
That's funny...as long as the Blues don't give Mark Mulder a tryout.

16:54Â Blues now 0-2 on the fruitless play.

Would love to go to the Blues' casino night for charity. But $250 a ticket is a little excessive, don't you think? It's for charity, but I'm not that charitable.

15:02 Man, this is a shitty game. No score or excitement in this game. No offensive flow.

I've got a new rating for how I view players on the team. Take Dan Hinote. I tend to like him because he's excitable and plays with some intensity, but when you get down to it, he's just a guy. The Blues the last two seasons have had too many players that you could categorize as, "just a guy." You take another random player from another team (not a superstar) and you won't notice much difference because, well, he's just a guy.

Now Andy McDonald, he's somebody when you plop him in that same spot, you can tell he's different. He's really a player (for this theory to work, I need a snappy name for what to call the player who isn't just a guy).

13:24 And I wrote that before Hinote valiantly but futily tried stuffing the puck in the net.

10:41 Jacke Skille just got his second goal of the game. And all the hoes in the house said, "Yeah!" 1-0 Chicago. There goes that first goal of the game streak. How the fuck do you let a guy score his second of the year? And Kane just put one wide.

Just saw on the replay that Schwarz was going for the poke check when the shot went flying by him. Let the play come to you, fucker. You keep playing like that, you'll find yourself deported. Next thing you know your pads are held on with used packing tape and your shitty team owner in the Czech Republic is punishing you for giving up that kind of goal by attaching your balls to a car battery.

Allegedly.

6:25 When the Boyes, Kariya, McDonald line are out there, they can really sustain the pressure and play keep away. Hey Dooks, we need another nickname for a line. What should we call those three?

4:41 And now it's 2-0. Bourque (not Raymond) scores his fifth on a long shot that found the upper corner. When Schwarz pulled his mask up for a drink, you could see on his face, "No, not the Diehard."

And according to Federko, Marek will have to learn that the NHL players can play better than the players in the AHL. Next thing he's going to say is, "Blue Note Code No. 3 is, Score more goals than the other team, you hoser."

Gift Says:

Okay, John Kelly, how is taking the wrong angle on a shot made more difficult by Legace getting hurt in the first period. The homerism is killing me.Â
You take some penicilin, that homerism will clear right up.

And what the fuck does all of Lalime's surgeries have to do with his wife having another kid? I bet they dress the little kid in Marvin the Martian clothing. Someone look up the phone number for DCFS.

1:19 Stempniak pokes it in (coming to your local adult store in August) for a 2-1 game. Nice, hard working play. Nice little backhander hanging out near the crease. Of course he wasn't trying to screen Latrine, but what they hell, it worked.

0:30 McKeeeee broke up a breakaway from Havlat right after Boyes almost tied it up.

Now Jackman is going off with 18 seconds left for hooking. Pimping ain't easy.

That's the end of the second. New thread for the third.