By Brad Lee
Our friends over at St. Louis Sports Magazine this week ranked their top five most annoying people who hang on the coat tails of our town's professional sports teams. The Blues sport two of the five on the list. Yippee!
5.) Horn Man
A lesser known entity than his counterparts, the Horn Man's main job description is to blow the unofficial airhorn at Blues games in an attempt to get the crowd into a "Let's Go Blues" chant. As we noted at the game on Saturday, Horn Man has the unique ability to emote with his instrument.Â
We heard some horns of disappointment after the Predators scored, some horns of frustration when the Blues struggled on the power play and horns of jubilation shortly after a goal by the home team. Despite his potential affect on the home crowd, Horn Man isn't nearly astute enough at self promotion to top a list full of heavyweights like this.
That last point is the most importan thing about the Horn Guy (Man--whatever): we don't know who he is, we don't know what he looks like or his real name. There aren't pictures of him at a wedding standing on a chair waving a towel around trying to make the event more about him and not the bride and groom (true story). We think there's probably more than one guy with a horn. To us, this guy is a fan, he wanst to help the atmosphere in the DrinkScotch Center and he's doing his part. It was depressing that in the games after the lockout when the arena was half dead, there were no horns to get people going. We're kind of glad he is back. We only find him annoying if the Blues are losing big time and he's still blowing.
3.) Towel Guy
During Saturday's game versus Nashville, shortly after the Blues scored their second goal to make the score 5-2, our eyes turned to Towel Guy's section.Â
In a potentially disastrous turn of events, the cotton candy man had set up camp in TG's path.  Wielding the power that comes with his role, Towel Guy promptly rushed the vendor up the stairs to clear his way to the rail so that he could stand and wave his towel like a madman. Never get in the way of a true performer when he's about to go on stage.Â
We're predicting that Towel Guy is about 20 home games away from having a fight to the death with Louie, the new team mascot. That's his territory, baby. Â
First of all, let's set the record straight, it's Towel Boy. That's non-negotiable. Second, we couldn't agree more. This attention whore signs his towels before he throws them. He has a flashing strobe light on him so fans know where to look after a goal. He's got his own afroed cartoon on the scoreboard. We would probably root for a Towely-Louie deathmatch if both went hurtling over the railing, but then all of us parents would have to explain to our kids why two of their favorite things at Blues games were laying in a bloody heap two sections away from us. And no one wants to do that.
I must admit, fellas at St. Louis Sports Magazine, I was disappointed there was no honorable mention for Cotton Eyed Joe Guy, Banging On The Glass Like A Caged Monkey Guy (really a genre of fan and not an individual) and the man with the Mega Mullet in Section 101 (who we are a fan of but he needs some publicity anyway for his dedication to the mullet). And thanks for leaving Red Berenson Cowboy from 306 out of this because he probably would kick our ass if he ended up on your list.