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The Kings and a Queen

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By Sean Gallagher

Gotta love The Onion: Flyers Defenseman Ceremonially Checks Sarah Palin Into The Boards

Ah, it's finally here, the event that virtually no one I know is excited about: Sarah Palin drops the puck and the Blues play the boring-ass Kings.

At least we finally have the chance to meet the Secret Service tonight!

On the game-day paper side of the house, we're dreading tonight. The cops and DrinkScotch security have been absolutely great to us ever since the Checketts regime took over. But you know what happens during an event like this: the VP candidate shows up, Secret Service shows up and starts sweating the hell out of everyone, higher-ups who haven't been around for months burrow straight up into their subordinates' asses and then shit rolls down hill.

Guess who's standing at the bottom? Yep, guys selling a fan-based paper aren't going to get a lot of leeway when the Pucker Factor is this high.

Which is our way of letting all our loyal readers know that if we're not at our usual posts tonight, you might have to look a half block or so further away from the rink to find us. We don't know it for a fact, but we're just planning for the worst.

Actually, the worst is a scenario where we're blogging the shit out of events between all our waterboardings.

On the website side of this hizzy, we have you! And we have this post. No live blogging tonight as most of the degenerates writers will be at the DrinkScotch drinking scotch beer.

We'd give you a game-day preview, but they're all just regurgitation about the visit of Sarah Palin and if you're like us, which we assume you are, you were tired of that story about 47 hours ago.

Let's Go Blues!