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Screw Boston

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Marc Savard jumps into the waiting arms of the guy the Blues traded for Bradley Boyes.

By Brad Lee

In case you weren't watching last night, the Boston Bruins beat the Montreal Canadiens for the first time all season 2-1 in overtime in Boston. When the Bruins took the lead last night, it was the first time in 614 minutes of play this season that Boston led Montreal. Unreal. The Washington Generals even think that's a little one-sided.

Our friends at Four Habs Fans summed up their feelings from last night very succintly:

Other than Greek Lightning and TFS, everyone fucking sucked last night.

(Note to self: find out the identities of Greek Lightning and TFS.)

Obviously our other rooting interest, the freakin' Predators, has generated more chatter around these parts. No problem. But those Hicks will be heading for their moonshine stills in the foothills by hump day this week. As the locals would say in Nashville: It ain't pertty. With that in mind, we give you a few reasons you should be rooting for the Canadiens to beat the Bruins in the first round:

The Bruins
I hope he lands on his skull.

That's Bobby Orr soaring after scoring the Stanley Cup-winning goal on the St. Louis Blues. Noel Piccard is the one who lauched Orr after the goal. It's one of the most famous photos in the history of the NHL and it depicts the Blues losing. If your'e a diehard Blues fan, how could you not root against the Bruins?

The Red Sox
How do you spell douche bag? R-E-D S-O-X F-A-N.

These jackasses are Boston Red Sox fans celebrating their team's first World Series victory in 86 years at Busch Stadium in 2004. The Cardinals hadn't won the World Series since 1982 and hadn't been in one since 1987. They got swept. It sucked. And the Sox winning led to Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore running onto the field at Busch to celebrate for their horrible movie that I will never allow anyone in my home to watch, "Fever Pitch."

We're kind of glad his movie career sucks.

The Patriots
Our spies tell us the Patriots should not have won that game.

The St. Louis Rams were going to be a dynasy. They had won the Super Bowl after the 1999 season. They had an incredible offense but suspect defense in 2000. They made the playoffs, but the defense had to be better. And in the 2001 season, they were. The Rams waltzed into the Super Bowl almost unchallenged. They were a huge favorite to win. And if you go to the videotape, you'll see they lost. It sucks. Regardless of the Patriots cheating (please, they obviously did), the Rams were the better team and choked the game away, mainly due to bad decisions on the coaching staff. Suddenly the Rams were vulnerable, Kurt Warner's deal with the devil expired, Mike Martz got a lobotomy and the team has not been the same since. It sucks.

We won't mention that trading the draft rights for Bill Russell to the Celtics doomed the St. Louis Hawks or that "Boston Legal" is crappy television. We won't even speculate about how much of the tea dumped in Boston Harbor might have been destined for St. Louis. And even though the Bruins gave us a love for Boyes, they also traded the Blues this guy:

Thanks for nothing.