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TJ Oshie Is Studying For Finals

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By Sean Gallagher

Up late on a Tuesday night, college junior and Blues prospect TJ Oshie is studying for his final exams...

TJ Oshie, buckling down Man, if I didn't think I was gonna need this information, I would have totally dropped this Recreational Studies course...

[ring tone: Coldplay]

Go for Osh.

EJ, not studying at all.Yo, Teej! What. Up. Dawg.

Nuttin, Eeej. Just studying for these exams. You know, gettin' my learn on. You know the deal, right? Just like when you were at Minnesota?

The Eeej, not so sure.Yeah, um, not really. With the Gophers, I didn't exactly have to spend that much time studying. In fact, I kinda left before that first year was up. I actually spent more time putting up sweet Facebook photos than studying for exams. I'll send a recent one to your phone:

Dude, that Wagner kid is waaay cool!

The Osh, jealous.Um, that actually looks pretty fun. But the college parties here in North Dakota are pretty rad, too, man. The co-ed tail just can't be beat.

Erik Johnson, unimpressed.Wrong.

TJ, defensiveBut there are these puck bunny girls...

EJ, quite sure.Wrong.

TJ, still not concedingBut...

EJ, King of Tail.Wrong.

Hey, hold on for a sec.

[Incoming text from Perron, David.]

Perron in a clown-sized jersey.[Wrong.]

EJ, vindicated.Told ya. Plus, here in St. Louis, you won't have to worry about any more run-ins with the law. The cops love us here. Earlier this year, I may or may not have gotten to meet some cops out in Town & Country. Let's just say that if I did it was because they may have been checking out some suspicious activity in a car parked in Al MacInnis' driveway.

IfyaknowwhatImean.

TJ, interested.And they didn't do anything? No booking? No stupid charges?

EJ, beaming.Nup. Plus, once they figured out that her boyfriend's car didn't have any warrants or anything, they just left us. I mean, if something like that did happen.

So, you still wanna keep buckling down so hard? I mean, you can pay a dude to math it up for you soon enough.

TJ, backpedaling.Dude, education is important. Plus, I was talking to my teammates and...

EJ, cooler.My teammates are millionaires.

TJ, scrounging for Taco Bell change.Well, my teammates...

EJ, still a millionaire.Are not millionaires. They're fine, I'm sure. But being a millionaire is fun. You should try it.

Hold on.

TJ gets another text.[Incoming text: Backes, David.]

David Backes former college player.[Dude, college is a joke. Be a millionaire.]

Osh, confused.You know, exams do kinda suck.

EJ, winning.Look, Osh, I gotta get out, but it's time you stop wasting your life with this education bullshit and get on with the real world of being a professional athlete.

the Teej gets another message.[boop boop: waiting incoming call.]

JD, anxious to do whatever it takes.Pick up, pick up, pick up. Come on, pick up.

TJ, harried.Aw shit. Not yet, big guy.

[Ignore.]

Hey, EJ, before you go, tell me about that girl in her boyfriend's car again....

Fin.