By Brad Lee
On behalf of the entire St. Louis Blues professional ice hockey organization, we would like to apologize. Sorry for fucking up the rest of your season and allowing a bunch of greasy, unwashed Nasvhille players to knock your teams out of the postseason.
By rolling over and giving the Predators an overtime win in St. Louis Tuesday night and a 3-2 win Thursday night in the Music City, the Blues helped eliminate the Blackhawks (something we normally wouldn't mind) and Canucks. Of course if the shitty Canucks could beat the shittier Oilers Thursday and if the Hawks had stayed healthier and played the rest of the league like they played the Red Wings, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Obviously, they're all morons.
Come on Vancouver! You saw the scoreboard. You knew you had to win Thursday night -- at home against an Oilers team playing its last meaningless game of the year. Those guys were already at the lake house, one foot on the first tee box! But nooooo. You had to go and lose and let those hillbillies in the playoffs for the fourth straight season. They still need 21 more to match the Blues, you silver and mustard wearing rednecks.
Sorry. That got a little off track. This was all about an apology. And speaking of apologies St. Louis Blues, how about a big fucking, "We're sorry for teasing everyone at the beginning of the year. We weren't that good. Oops." We'll keep on waiting during Fan Appreciation Week. We'd appreciate a better season next year.
We've been over the Blues for weeks now, so two more losses this week ain't changing anything. But it did affect teams we hate less than the Predators. Those guys are pricks. Have you see Radulov celebrate goals? He has to be a soccer player in his free time. And Barry Trotz looks like the Penguin from the second Batman movie with Michael Keaton. Except not as pasty. And Gallagher has been on record that he will root for on this blog anyone playing Detroit. You've been warned.
Where were we? Oh, yeah. Vancouver and Chicago, we're sorry. Hopefully when the Blues roll over and die next spring, hopefully you'll be on the schedule late in the season and they can make it up to you.
Love,
Your friends,
Sincerely,
Very respectfully yours,
St. Louis Blues fans