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Top Things the Blues Brass did this Off-season.

11: Decided whom to feign interest in by throwing a dart at the NHL free agents that had reached their age of dwindling returns. After heated debate and the realization that plastic darts will not stick in a horsehair dart board, Brendan Shanahan was bulls-eyed.

Andy Murray would still dress me 43 more games than Perron next year!

10: Hired noted Feng Shui designer Kenny Hoo to decide the optimal number of desks/assistants to stick in Larry Pleau's office. It was twelve.

The 12 Larry's busy working on the Youth Movement.

09: Figured that by keeping more fans out of 14th and Clark for the Wild Turkey, more fans would come to 14th and Clark for the Wilds game.

A Clark bar you can really get into while spending less than 175 per ticket.

08: With firm backing from three separate statistical analists, they arrived at Cam Janssen's optimal number of minutes per game- 0.23.

Cam's pyramid power boosted biorhythms suggest that on Feb 10, during the 13th minute of the 3rd period, Cam will approch the average skill level of an NHL player for the first time ever. he is a must dress that day.

07: Kissed more Bettman Butt than normal, yet the Steinberg Rink remained "Winter Classic" free.

The Kid Line? Pah! Try the Conga Line!

06: Selected two finalist for the position of designing the new Blues advertising slogans. Have yet to decide the winner.

You can go with thisor you can go with that