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Paul is playing Carnac. Paul is Canadian. Canadians love hockey. Therefore, totally perfect picture for this Web site.


By Chris Gift


Believe it or not Boyes and all three girls (Hi, Jessica, Diane, and the lacrosse player from Detroit) the regular season is just around the corner. While most teams are gearing up for a run at either the Stanley Cup, or at the very least a playoff spot, our "Whatever it Takes" Blues don't seem to be contenders for either.


Like dogsledding, the metric system, and curling, Canadians cover hockey just a tad better than we do here in the states (but they punt on third down in the CFL, so let's call that war a draw).


TSN (Canada's version of ESPN) is previewing all 30 teams and predicting where each team will finish the season.


To prove they are going through every team, they promised (while ice fishing), to preview the Blues on September 25.


So what are they going to say? Did the team underacheive last year, was the team's finish just aboot right? What aboot (I love that joke) the potential unrestricted free agents (Walt Tkachuk, Andy McDonald, Jesus Legace)? Will any or all of them be back next season, be dealt at the deadline, or both?


Be realilstic, they're not going to say "This team really sucks." That would be true, and something you'd find on stltoday.com's boards, but it would be spelled "sux."


For example, for the Boston Bruins (after the Celtics winning, the Red Sox winning, and Tom Brady becoming a martyr for the season, do you think anybody in the Hub cares about the BB?) their bottom line aboot the team was:


If they can build on last year's success in the regular season and playoffs, they just might be mentioned in the same breath as their championship-calibre (yes, that's how they spell it up north) peers.



Each team is broken into five categories: An introduction, statistical leaders, then sections called "What they did," "What to watch for," and a "Parting Shot."


Since the Blues did nothing- except turn 14th and Clark into a Country Club, tell us what you think we should watch for, and your parting shot. If you're extra creative, tell us what you think TSN is going to watch for, and what their parting shot will be.


The winner gets to read the closing credits in a style of my choosing.


As for what my predictions are. If I told you now, what the hell would I write about in the first print issue of the new season?