11. Still in Chicago, right?
10. Even their alumni don't like them anymore.
9. Their player Ben Eager never should have dropped the ‘forcock' from the end of his name.
8. Rather than donate his long hair to help make wigs for cancer patients, Brent Sopel just weaved together his pubes for them.
7. Already know they blow.
6. Still sell Old Style at the rink, right?
5. New motto for 2009: Your Chicago Blackhawks, Respect The Suck.
4. Still got a Wirtz in charge, right?
3. Patrick Kane has dubbed himself ‘Showtime.' Blues fans have dubbed him ‘douche chills.'
2. Toews and Kane posters are huge sellers in Boys Town district.
1. Change all you want, you're still the same ol' Blackhawks.
From the 12 Fluid Ounces of Gallagher's Brain