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The Call From Peoria; Blues One Act Theater

[Ringtone: Walking On Sunshine.]

Tkachuk_medium Go for Walt.

Operator_medium This is the operator. Will you accept a collect call from Emmanuel Fernandez Legace?

Tkachuk_medium Emmanuel Fernande... Oh yeah. Sure, sure. I'll accept the charges.

Operator_medium One second, please. Caller, you are connected.

Legace_medium Walter. How are you? You haven't sent anything back on my Twitters.

Tkachuk_medium Yeah, I was gonna say something about that, buddy. Um, I don't know what a Twitters is. And your email about Tweets and all that... is that a Peoria thing?

Legace_medium Oh god do I ever not want to talk about Peoria.

Tkachuk_medium Wow. Kind of awkward. Hey, here's someone else to talk to!

Legace_medium *sigh*

Oshie_medium Go! For! Osh!

Legace_medium Hey kid, it's Manny. How's it going? I hear you're the new King of St. Louis.

Oshie_medium That's wild, man, because I hear you're the new King of Peoria.

Legace_medium Not that cool, Teej.

Oshie_medium Nothing bad meant by it, Manny. I hear Peoria is... umm. That Peoria is.... Is. Peoria.

Legace_medium Anyone else around, Furnace Face?

Oshie_medium You bet, Emmanuel. Say hi to Dancin' Stevie Wagner for me. Hold on, I'll get someone for you.

Legace_medium Steve Wagner. Like I talk to anyone down here. Stupid.

Mason_medium Yo, Masonry here. Who callin' on my phone?

Legace_medium Oh. Hey Mason. It's Manny.

Mason_medium Manny. Manny. Manny. OH! Uh, hey Manny. Um, how's it, uh, goin'?

Legace_medium You know. Great or whatever. You?

Mason_medium Uh. You know. Nineteen straight starts and whatnot... uh. So.

Legace_medium So.

Mason_medium So. Yeah.



Legace_medium What's that?

Mason_medium What?

Legace_medium Oh. I thought you said something.

Mason_medium Nah.



Legace_medium Oh. Because I thought...

Mason_medium Yeah, no.

Legace_medium (fucking Oshie. I'm gonna kill that kid.)

 Mason_medium  (fucking Oshie. I'm gonna kill that kid.)

Hey, hold on, 34. I got someone here for you.

Legace_medium Yeah, I wear number 35 now. Ah forget it.

Bishop_medium Yo, go for Bling Ben!

Legace_medium Bling Ben? Since when, rook?

Bishop_medium (whispering) Hey, Manny. I told the guys that's what they call me in Peoria. Do a kid a solid, would ya, and don't say shizz to nobizz, OK?

Hey, how's my cat doing? You're feeding him, right?

Legace_medium Yeah, man, yeah.

Bishop_medium And you're keeping the apartment clizzean, right? I don't want to have to deal with dirty dishes whe... IF I come back.

Aw hell, if I don't have to come back you can have all those dirrrrty dish-ass, homes! Ya feel me?

Legace_medium Bishop.

Bishop_medium Yeah Manny?

Legace_medium Shut the fuck up.

Bishop_medium Okay Manny.

Hey hold on, someone's grabbing the phone.

Tkachuk_medium Dude, you're still on this collect call? Whaddaya think I am, made of money. Oh wait, that's right, I am made of money. Ha!

Legace_medium Great Walt. Great.

Tkachuk_medium Come on, man, that shit is wicked funny.

Legace_medium Walt, this sucks. I'm in a race for a playoff race in the AHL and you guys might make the real playoffs. Everyone is going crazy for Mason and... and... it's like it's all over for me. No one even knows I'm down here.

Tkachuk_medium Come on man, it's not that bad. One of the kids told me that some Peoria blog was saying good stuff about you. Hey, is a blog like a Twitters?

Legace_medium Sort of. Yes. Well, no. Not really. Yes. Whatever. I don't know.

Tkachuk_medium Well maybe the blogtwitterses people are right. You could get signed again this summer and be back in the NHL. Hell, I heard the Red Wings are going to be looking for some new goalies this summer.

You've been there before. You could go back. How's that sound? Back to Detroit?

Legace_medium Aw come on, man. Fuck Detroit.

Tkachuk_medium Yeah. Good point.