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The Hockey Prof's Flying Circus

[Scene: A non-descript shop in the Ye Olde England section of Manchester Road.  You know the stretch...right near that Taco Bell.

A rather disgruntled man enters.]

Parrot13_medium I'd like to register a complaint!


Parrot5_medium habla inglese... and we are closing for lunch.


Parrot7_medium  Never mind that my lad, I want to complain about this hockey player which I purchased from this very boutique.


Parrot5_medium  Ah yes... The Kariya Blue... what's wrong with it?


Parrot12_medium I'll tell you what's wrong with it.  It's dead that's what's wrong with it!



Parrot4_medium  No, no.  It's resting.

Parrot8_medium Resting?

Parrot4_medium Yeah.  Beautiful player the Kariya Blue.  Lovely skating strides.

Parrot8_medium Look!  Why does it always fall over the second I put it on the ice?

Parrot5_medium Perhaps its pining for Nashville.

Parrot8_medium Pining for Nashville?!

Parrot4_medium Yeah, temperamental player the Kariya Blue, but well worth it in the long run. I'm sure he's just resting.

Parrot7_medium Well, if he's resting, I'm gonna wake him up.  Hello Pauli!!!  Wake up Pauli Kariya!!  I've got a nice bunch of Stanley Cup Playoff games if you wake up Pauli!!

Parrot4_medium There! He moved!

Parrot8_medium No he didn't!  That was you hitting his cage with a hockey stick!

With_stick_medium I never!

Parrot12_medium See here.  I took the liberty of examining this player before I came, and I found the only reason he was ever sitting on the bench in the first place was you hired Jim Campbell to haul this corpse all over town.

Parrot5_medium Well, of course I hired Jim Campbell.  One, he needs the work, and Two, if I hadn't done that the Kariya Blue might have jumped onto the ice and VOOM!

Parrot8_medium Voom?!?!  This player wouldn't "voom" if you dumped three quarts of Red Bull in him and set his shorts on fire.  He's bleeding demised!

Parrot5_medium Hmmm...I better replace it then.  Oh no.  Seems I'm fresh out of superstars at the moment.

Parrot12_medium I see.  I get the picture.


Parrot16_medium I've got a Cam Paddock.

Parrot6_medium Can it score?

Parrot5_medium Uh... not really.

Parrot12_medium Well, then it is hardly a replacement, is it?  [Man begins to break down and sob quietly.]

Parrot4_medium Hey now.  I hate to see a grown man cry.  So, shove off...out of my shop.

[Man leaves.  A second man enters looking shaken.]

Idle_medium I'd like to complain about this Cam Janssen I bought this morning.


Parrot5_medium  Oh, good Lord.  It's not dead is it?

Idle_medium Uh no.  But he's eaten the neighbors.

Parrot5_medium Ah...well then... no habla inglese, and we are closing for lunch.


[End scene.]