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On The Tarmac: Blues One Act Theater

As the Blues wait for their charter flight to be ready Thursday night, they start to egg each other on.

Oshie_medium C'mon, Iceberg, just do it.

Steen_medium C'mon. Do it.

Berglund_medium I don'ts knowing. Maybe not cools?

Oshie_medium Do it, man. Everyone thinks you should. Right Walt?

Tkachuk_medium Leave me out of it, flaired hair.

Oshie_medium OK, Gramps.

Yo, Backs! What up, Connect Four! Tell TechnoViking he should use the Swedish.

Backes_medium Meatballs. Do it.

Berglund_medium Fines. But only because it's big Backs with the big games.


[Ringtone: The Lemonheads, Big Gay Heart.]

Lidstrom_medium Hallo, anfalla Kung de Hockeyslummen.

Berglund_medium God dag, jog er sett for Kungen av Shittown?

Lidstrom_mediumVad den fuck?

Berglund_medium He is not happies.

Oshie_medium Dude. Ask for TechnoViking.

Berglund_medium Ar TechnoViking dar?

Lidstrom_medium Vanta en for minut.

Berglund_medium (eyebrow raise)

Oshie_medium Genius! Keep going! Hey, Forty Dub, it's working!

Backes_medium IKEA, you keep going.

Berglund_medium (nodding, laughing) You go Backs.

Perron_medium You mean 'gots it Blacks'.

Oshie_medium NO! No, no. He means, 'You got it Backs'.

Perron_medium You got what backs?

Oshie_medium Jesus.

Perron_medium Leave us?

Backes_medium Perron!

Perron_medium Sorry Blacks.

Oshie_medium No. Not at all. Not even close.

Franzen_medium Hallo? Hallo?

Berglund_medium Hallo? Is this... is this...

Oshie_medium Do it. Put it on speakerphone.

Berglund_medium [speakerphone activated] ...Is this Frankenstein's Monster?

Franzen_medium Momma! How are you? Did you see my goal tonight? How is Poppa? Are his open wounds healing?

Berglund_medium  Oshie_medium Backes_medium Tkachuk_medium Steen_medium

Berglund_medium Um. They are healing poorly.

Franzen_medium Again? Do they still itch and have the bugs?

Berglund_medium  Oshie_medium Backes_medium Tkachuk_medium Steen_medium

Berglund_medium Of course they do. Can we talk to the King of Shittown now?

Franzen_medium Ja!

Berglund_medium (shaking head)

Holmstrom_medium Go for Teeth!

Berglund_medium Hallo horseface, how's your game?

Holmstrom_mediumPoppa? Poppa's man-friend? Who is this?

Berglund_medium  Oshie_medium Backes_medium Tkachuk_medium Steen_medium

Holmstrom_medium Poppa's man-servant? Who is this?

Oshie_medium (shrugs)


Backes_medium Fix it, Swede.

Berglund_medium I'm looking for the rookie, Horse-face.

Holmstrom_medium Oh! OK, Poppa! Say hallo to the man-servant boyfriends for me!

Berglund_medium  Oshie_medium Backes_medium Tkachuk_medium Steen_medium

Ericsson_medium Hallo? Vem em han dar?

Berglund_medium Hi, Dumbass! It's your father! I heard you were minus-4 tonight.

Ericsson_medium Yes, sir, it's true. But I just can't help it. I play on a great team, I have lots of Swedish teammates. I should be able to do well and have fun, but....

Berglund_medium But what, dicks for brains?

Ericsson_medium Well, it's just... it's just true what they say...

Berglund_medium What's that, son?

Ericsson_medium It's just that it's true...

Ericsson_medium Berglund_medium  Oshie_medium Backes_medium Tkachuk_medium Steen_medium


Ericsson_medium Wha?

 Berglund_mediumFan ta Detroit, dummy! [Click]

  Ericsson_medium Shit. Nicklas! It happened again....