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Top 11 Best Things About The Red Wings' Loss Last Night

11.  Don't have to worry about a bunch of Penguins fans coming over to Game Time to gloat.

10.  First text we received after the game said only, "Eat a dick, Marian."

9.    Got to teach our children the joy of laughing at other people's failures.

8.    Hockey players everywhere learned the valuable lesson on how to never 'Pull A Hossa': it's fine to join a team for less money to win a championship, just don't ever say out loud that that's the reason.

7.    A2M's tears make my heart warm.

6.    Poor, disappointed Red Wings fans don't have to wait that long before they get to enjoy another season of Lions 'football.'

5.    Maltby and Draper's nightly lovemaking way less tender than usual, but with way more tears.

4.    There are three signs of a coming Red Wings implosion: losing a Game Seven at home, the retirement of Nicklas Lidstrom, the moment when they realize they shouldn't have given Johan 'The Ghost' Franzen an 11-year contract. One down, two to go.

3.    Holy shit did we ever miss the annual "Detroit Fans And Media Turn On Their Goaltending" extravaganza. We're just so glad it's back.

2.    So glad that Pittsburgh was able to hold down the future studs of the Wings; not a peep from Brett Lebda, Darren Helm or Jiri Hudler. But we're sure they'll still turn into the next generation of superstars anyway. Really.

1.    Ah, sweet sweet internet silence.


From the 12 Fluid Ounces of Gallagher's Brain