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Duck Season @ Blues GDT

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So the Ducks suck. While the Blues are undefeated, the Ducks are defeated. In their two losses, the game bird hockey team has been outscored 8-1. Obviously the Ducks haven't employed the Flying V or the triple Deke.

And speaking of schlocky Disney hockey movies, there's one scene that is totally full of shit. Fine, there's many more than one, but one really comes to mind. Remember that one time they tied the fat goaltender to the net in his pads because he was afraid of the puck hitting him? And when they started hitting him, he suddenly found his courage and realized his pads protected him. Suddenly he was a goalie savant. What a crock of shit. Look, you tie a kid to the goal and shoot pucks at him, he's going to cry. And then probably mess his pants. And then he's going to call his mom on his cellphone who will then call the cops and her lawyer. Instead of a postseason pizza party, it's depositions and questions to the players about coach in the locker room around the shower.

The Ducks are looking for offense wherever they can. Only three players have more than five shots combined after their first two games. Saku Koivu has the lone goal, Cam Fowler and the geriatric Teemu Selanne the only assists of the season.

The much hyped Bobby Ryan and the now maturing young guns Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf only have some penalty minutes, minuses and missed shots behind their names. On defense they've put Jonas Hiller in a fucking shooting gallery. He's allowed eight goals but made 92 saves. Combine those two numbers and you've got 50 shots a game allowed during the first two contests of the season. That means Hiller has a 4.00 goals-against average and a save percentage of 92 percent. Just think if Hiller was letting a few more in, the Ducks would be really embarrassed.

Of course there are other teams 0-2-0. One of them is the flightless birds in tuxedos, the Penguins. And shitass teams like the Oilers are 2-0-0. So don't' take these stats for much more than conversation on a Columbus Day/Canadian Thanksgiving.

I'm sure there's some way to watch the game if you don't make it down to the Drinkscotch. If you're stuck at work, I feel your pain. This is your special matinee game day thread. Act like it's Saturday night.