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F-You Friday: The Hawks Are In Town Edition

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Hey there, Blues fans. Hope you're ready for a hockey bonanza this weekend with the last two Stanley Cup champions in town in just 24 hours. There's the potential for a lot of celebrating. Or questioning why we care so much as the bartender cuts us off. Nope, not nervous at all. Now where did I leave my beer? On to all the F-You!'s you can handle!

Fuck the Blackhawks. Now I know we're still No. 2 on Google for the search term "Fuck Detroit," and we couldn't be more proud, but for me the Hawks were THE enemy of the state growing up. That blood red sweater with the proud Native American heritage that has been stolen by a bunch of pail-faced posers for decades, well it always made me mad seeing it. And with some of the kids around here on the local hockey scene that are front running little bastards, you see more Hawks gear around St. Louis than ever before. Screw you people. And fuck the Hawks.

Fuck all the Hawks fans who will be at the game tonight. Last spring, right around Easter, the Hawks came for a Saturday night game. And it felt like the game was in Springfield, Illinois -- the city right in the middle of St. Louis and Chicago because the crowd felt like it was 50-50. Just wait when they start cheering during the anthem. It's going to happen and there is nothing you can do to stop it. You can't boo. It's the anthem. You can't shut them up. They already bought the overpriced tickets. Tonight's a super premium game. Go online and the cheapest seats you can find are above $50 for the last rows of the mezzanine. So enjoy a beer that isn't Old Style, Hawks fans, and buy plenty of shit. It's still a crappy economy.

Fuck you dead grass in my front yard. I'm too busy to get the sprinkler out. You can't handle a little early autumn drought? Well then we didn't need your weak-ass brand of ground cover to begin with.

Fuck Oklahoma. The state. The university of. The musical about. The whole shootin' match, just fuck it. Because the Missouri Tigers are going to kick some Sooner ass Saturday night in Columbia. Faurot Field's BAC will be through the roof. Wish I could drink there. I mean be there.

Finally, we try not to go all political and stuff, but fuck the assholes who plant roadside bombs that kill 19-year-old Marines less than a month in country. God bless you and your family, sir.

Add your F's and You's down below. And remember the GDT. It won't be the same without you.