I may not think that Cam Janssen has the most important role on the Blues. I might also not think that Cam Janssen has the best skills on the Blues. I might not think that Cam Janssen is as good at his role as D.J. King is. I might not think that Cam Janssen really even needs to carry a stick when he's on the ice most nights. I might also think that Cam Janssen is staring right into the face of being about a year removed from asking if I really want a Crave Case since it's two in the morning and I'm clearly lost in the greater Eureka area.
But Cam Janssen has a way with words. And while I don't mean that Cam is our next James Joyce or our next Maya Angelou or even our next Red Peters, the King of Eureka is the kind of guy who I'll read whatever he writes.
Take, for instance, his take on T.J. Oshie's not-sweet new haircut, as reported by George Csolak at the Globe-Democrat, when he said that it "Looks like a bunch of spiders having a meeting on his head."
Gotta say, The (Cam) Jannsetor of Eureka is on to something here:
I've never seen a 23-year-old go from citywide heartthrob to old lesbian in 15 minutes before, but the Teej did it.
Truly, the kid continues to amaze.
But even more amazing than Kid Frosted Tips' conversion to Kid Spider Meeting's quick conversion is Janssen's uncanny recognition of how bad the haircut was, eloquently synopsized in a down-home colloquialism worthy of home-stater Mark Twain himself. The King of Eureka has a Way Of The Fist as well as a Way With The Word that has us wondering...
Cam says! He's slower than smoke off a cooling turd:
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Barret Jackman.
Damn, son, Al MacInnis isn't here to win you the Calder Trophy again! Pick up your feet!
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Cam says! Quit running around like a fart in a bottle...
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David Backes.
Look man, a hot wife, Inglorious Backes t-shirts and a four-goal game against Detroit last year doesn't mean immunity for life!
Get yo shit to-gether!
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Cam says! You're as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs:
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Patrik Berglund.
Why, Iceberg, why? Hiow is it that you cannot become the TechnoViking we all loved last year? Remember how easy it was to score 20+ goals in a season? And to dominate games, condos full of Rock Band and teenage girls? It can happen again, oh yes, it can happen again.
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And finally...
Cam says! Stop being a man who looks like an old lesbian!
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D.J. King
Clearly, that's T.J.'s move now....