Condo For Sale

Available now, motivated seller, fabulous condominium in non-exclusive area of semi-unicorporated St. Charles County! Lots of amenities included as standard. On top of a great condo surrounded by fun neighbors who love to hang out with and do all manner of errands and favors for the new owner (provided that new owner is a professional hockey player. Or baseball player - that would probably work too), this sometimes-gated community is a perfect location for any professional athlete one!

• Carpet "signed" by Blues stars Cam Janssen, David Perron and D.J. King.
• Shared pool apparently "makeable" from condo balcony.
• Perfect for "crackin' parties" and other social events.
• New-urban decorating includes "industrial" look including fist-sized holes in several walls, hilarious graffiti-covered dining room and communist-bloc level plumbing.
• Bathroom toilets have been upgraded to industrial strength!
• Keg-er-ator stays with the unit; porn stash negotiable.
• Over 85% of window panes remain unbroken!
• All appliances remain with unit, including refrigerator and "the experiment" in the Crisper Drawer.
• Plenty of undamaged hardwood!
• Bonus room easily accommodates spray-painted foosball table, beer pong table and Blues jersey-wearing dog.
• Second bedroom "puck-bunny approved."
• Purple, feathered pimp hat stays with unit; serious inquiries only please.