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This lovely condo is available immediately! Friends and alcohol included free (professional athletes only)!
This lovely condo is available immediately! Friends and alcohol included free (professional athletes only)!

Available now, motivated seller, fabulous condominium in non-exclusive area of semi-unicorporated St. Charles County! Lots of amenities included as standard. On top of a great condo surrounded by fun neighbors who love to hang out with and do all manner of errands and favors for the new owner (provided that new owner is a professional hockey player. Or baseball player - that would probably work too), this sometimes-gated community is a perfect location for any professional athlete one!

  • Carpet "signed" by Blues stars Cam Janssen, David Perron and D.J. King.
  • Shared pool apparently "makeable" from condo balcony.
  • Perfect for "crackin' parties" and other social events.
  • New-urban decorating includes "industrial" look including fist-sized holes in several walls, hilarious graffiti-covered dining room and communist-bloc level plumbing.
  • Bathroom toilets have been upgraded to industrial strength!
  • Keg-er-ator stays with the unit; porn stash negotiable.
  • Over 85% of window panes remain unbroken!
  • All appliances remain with unit, including refrigerator and "the experiment" in the Crisper Drawer.
  • Plenty of undamaged hardwood!
  • Bonus room easily accommodates spray-painted foosball table, beer pong table and Blues jersey-wearing dog.
  • Second bedroom "puck-bunny approved."
  • Purple, feathered pimp hat stays with unit; serious inquiries only please.