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Chris Chelios To Work For Wings

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Trading in his jersey for a suit and fetching chapeau, Chris Chelios is ready to do... <em>something</em>... for the Red Wings' front office.
Trading in his jersey for a suit and fetching chapeau, Chris Chelios is ready to do... something... for the Red Wings' front office.

Considering the news that octogenarian Chris Chelios has agreed to go to work for the Red Wings but that they have yet to determine what his duties or official title will be, we thought maybe we could help out our friends in Beirut Detroit with a Top 11 Suggested Job Titles For Chris Chelios....

11. Director of Very Senior Scouting

10. Ambassador To Corporate Partners, Cialis Account

9.   Senior Council on Mid-Day Napping

8.   Vice President in Charge of 4:30 pm Buffet Dinners

7.   Staff Non Genius

6.   Director of Food Services, Lethal Locations Division

5.   Training Staff, Osteoporosis Expert

4.   Legal Department - Beating DUI Convictions Expert

3.   Assistant Coach, Dirty and Cheap Shot Play

2.   Liason To Devil For Soul Sales

1.   River, Old Man

 

Your suggestions in the comments, if you please.