Tonight the Blues welcome a professional hockey team from a major city in the great state of Michigan. I hate to call that team the Detroit Red Wings because outside the team captain and some muckers and grinders as well as the rotting corpse of Todd Bertuzzi, the team you will see tonight does not resemble the Red Wings. Maybe when the Blues kicked their ass back in December they transmitted the injury bug to the Wings. Look at this list of injured players:
- Mike Modano has a bad wrist. And the possible onset of dementia because he's fucking old.
- Pavel Datsyuk has a broken hand. We have no pity for him. David Perron doesn't even remember who that is.
- Dan Cleary has a bad ankle. I have a bad uncle, so I can almost relate to him.
- Tomas Holmstrom has a bad hand. At least that's what the kids who testified against him called it. Allegedly.
- Brad Stuart has a bad jaw. You only have one of those, so that's probably really bad. His chewing is listed as day to day.
- Chris Osgood has a bad hernia. Can you have a good hernia? That might be doctor talk for "sore vagina," which Osgood probably has too.
- Jimmy Howard has a questionalbe knee. And questionalbe talent hidden behind a pretty good team.
Look, we have no pity for these bastards. They're still on top of the Central Division. It might just be smoke and mirrors. Or they may just be a deep team. Or it may be that the Blues are going to kick their ass.
Now we usually don't tell you what to think or say, but if your first comment is our well-known rallying cry, we're going to question your allegiance. And intelligence. So good luck. And if you're a Red Wings fan, we apologize in advance.
This is your game day thread. Treat it as the plate in T.J. Oshie's healed leg and your comments are the screws holding the whole damn thing together.