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Dead Things @ Blues Game Day Thread

I'm Chris Porter and I just scored in a 10-3 win at Detroit.
I'm Chris Porter and I just scored in a 10-3 win at Detroit.

Remember when the phrase the Detroit Dead Things meant something? You know, that the Red Wings were dead in the water, not putting an eight-legged stranglehold on the Central Division? You know, last month?

In case you haven't been following the Wings, and Lord knows I haven't -- I get indigestion if I watch them when the Blues aren't playing them (and sometimes when the Blues are playing them) -- there was some unrest in the Motor City. They lost six games in a row scoring just a total of six goals during that stretch. The season was over! Niklas Lidstrom was packing his bag for Sweden. Mike Babcock was updating his resume faster than the thousands of other Detroit residents out of work. The dynasty was dead. And then it wasn't. That's what a five-game winning streak which the Wings currently ride will do for you. Those six games? Aberration, obviously. And then the dicks in Detroit gave the finger to everyone who was gladly partying next to their open grave. Dammit.

The Blues kind of have a goalie situation on their hands. Jaroslav Halak sure looked like he enjoys playing for the Cock (Ken Hitchcock). Except in the shootout (what's fucking new). So Brian Elliott (phone home!) got the start against St. Louis, Martin and the rest of the Tampa Lightning and recorded his second shutout of the season Saturday night. So Hitchcock could have his biggest decision this month since deciding between crab legs or steak at the all you can eat buffet (Answer: Both. Duh.). Does he go with the hot hand from this weekend or the guy being paid like a No. 1 goaltender? In the coach's office he should label his Ding Dong as Halak and his Twinkie Elliott and whichever he eats first (like he would skip the other) will get the start that night. Makes as much sense as any other way to decide it.

At the other end of the ice, adult Jimmy Howard was named the second star of the NHL last week. So unless the Wings think as much of the Blues as their fans (hint: it's not much), then we'll probably see Howard. When you reach a certain age, shouldn't you be named Jim? Or James? Stupid fucking goalies.

This is your game day thread. What are the magic words?