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Top 11 Other Things Ken Hitchcock Can Fix In One Practice

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[From the Nov. 17 issue of St. Louis Game Time - inspired by reader Jeff W.]

11. The terrible leftover situation on the lunch buffet table.

10. All that unrest in the Middle East.

9. The shaky goaltending, the penalty kill and the neutral zone turnovers.

8. Getting all those stinky Occupy St. Louis bastards out of Kiener Plaza.

7. A broken escalator, thereby beating the previous building record by 364 days.

6. All the dogs David Backes rescued from a puppy mill that morning.

5. Bobby Plager's smoking habit.

4. Recession? What recession?

3. The terrible St. Louis Ranch Dipping Sauce Surplus Situation of 2011.

2. Your marriage.

1. Coming soon: Hockey Village.

From the 12 Fluid Ounces of Gallagher's Brain