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Why Dave Checketts Can Kiss My Ass

Nice soccer trophy, jerk.
Nice soccer trophy, jerk.

It may have been coming for quite a while now, but yesterday's news regarding Dave Checketts' decision to sell his portion of the Blues, the Scottrade DrinkScotch Savvis ScotchTape AppleButter Kiel Center and the Peoria Rivermen still shocked the living hell out of me. It raised mixed emotions, both as a die-hard fan and as somewhat of a business aficionado.

See, most of you don't know this, but I have a BBA (Business Management, '03, McKendree College, thankyouverymuch). While my day job is in radio and deals with mostly the marketing aspect of my studies, I have a bit of experience deciphering business decisions such as this one. And these last ten months have reeked of terrible business practices by Dave Checketts and his ownership group . . . but mostly Checketts.

Oh, and there may have been a spot of Bailey's in my coffee when I wrote the majority of this column this morning. I am COMPLETELY enraged by the whole thing. It's not a common or popular opinion, I know. But when have ANY of you known me to give a shit?

As a fan, I feel deceived. Checketts wanted full control of the team knowing full well that he was not going to be able to keep it. But he told everyone that he was GOING to get a group in place, even though he didn't have the money himself, and he was still going to be the figurehead. And I wanted to believe that, even though I knew full well that it probably wasn't going to happen that way. And then, this happens.

The quote from Checketts that furthest enraged me, though, is as follows:

It's a really good time to be the owner of the St. Louis Blues and I think someone will want to take that role.

Now let's back up for a second, Dave. You want to sell the team, but you want to talk about how good a time it is to be the owner of the team? If it's such a Goddamn good time to own the team, then why aren't you continuing to bust your ass trying to pull things together to make YOURSELF stay as the owner of the fucking team?! Don't give me this bullshit about it being a "really good time" to own the team if you're DITCHING THE MOTHERFUCKING THING! Don't bail if it's that good, Dave. Quit trying to be a salesman.

Yeah, so I snapped.

And I understand Checketts sounds remorseful about the whole thing. But remorse alone just doesn't cut it for me. And, of course, I have a bit of reservation about whether or not Dave's remorse is genuine at this point.

So here we are, five years later, and another failed owner for this franchise goes down. I stand by this team, as you all know. I refuse to side with Checketts, though, as I feel as if he has broken my trust. In business terms, he sold me what I thought was a cherry, and it turned out to be a total lemon. Thanks jerk, did you take the ENGINE out of this fucking thing too?!

That being said, I will not put him on the same level as Dollar Bill Laurie. That takes a special kind of asshole only the likes of Laurie can achieve.

But Checketts is on my shit list right now. This opinion may change after someone with 50 bajillion dollars or whatever comes up and buys the team, puts actual cash flow IN the team and actually spends money on an on-ice product I can be completely proud of. But that time is DEFINITELY not right now.

This Blues franchise, despite never winning anything in the history of ever (or at least as I see it), is a proud franchise with a solid fan base. But we, as fans have had our trust in the management of this team tested way too many times. And now, it happens to me again. And those of you who know me know that I hate having my trust fucked with. Well, it happened again, and I will not just sit here and let it happen without at least screaming about it.

In conclusion, Dave Checketts can go kiss my ass for this loss of trust brought about for this team I love. Have fun with your soccer team, asshole, I'm sure it's so profitable or whatever. Better yet, just bring it to St. Louis so you can bail on another team. Because really, why not fuck with us twice?

Oh, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. I won't miss you.