Avalanche @ Blues

Hey, the Avalanches are in town. Big Johnson Jokes for everybody!

Listen folks, I don't have much to say. So here's a top 11 list from tonight's paper. If you e-mail me, I might even send you a copy from tonight. But you get to hear my sales pitch for subscriptions. Fair warning.

Top 11 Signs You're Drunk At A Hockey Game

11. You're wearing an Albert Pujols jersey with a dollar sign instead of the No. 5 on the back.

10. The glass at the ticket window has marks from your forehead after the mean lady behind the glass wouldn't sell you playoff tickets.

9. Your carpet salesman bought you club seats.

8. Your buddy lost a bet that Chris Porter would never score a goal this season and he's buying.

7. Have you seen the standings?

6. Your entire family got Jay McClement jerseys at Christmas.

5. Angella just called you Bob Plager Jr.

4. Your plastic horn sounds like a dying goose.

3. Your Cotton Eyed Joe dance was really cool at that country bar Little Bit of Texas in 1998.

2. When Towel Boy did his thing after the first goal, you counted to 10 - to salute the game in Detroit. Duh.

1. You bought this book and gave it to your kid.

Comment as if you really like the Chris Stewart trade.