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Thursday Links: Taint Kicking Edition

Tonight is the last night of the Conference Semi-Finals. If trends continue, Detroit will bring their old balls to the rink and San Jose will choke on them. The ideal scenario (for me, at least) is San Jose picking up the victory, but losing Joe Thornton for the rest of the playoffs to a taint injury. Somebody swiftly kick that man in the taint.

Blues News

  • Team USA is done. Kevin Shattenkirk performed well, Ty Conklin was aight and Chris Porter was... Chris Porter. It's very lonely in the Chris Porter Fan Club offices today... and every day. On the upswing, Patrik Berglund continues his domination as Sweeden rolls. []
  • Kelly Chase doing analysis for NHL Network? That I can understand. He is a broadcaster after all. B.J. Crombeen? Are they just drawing names out of a hat now? []
  • Somebody compared the Blues to the New York Mets. Fucking ouch, bro. [Forbes]

NHL/Hockey News

  • Tonight: San Jose looks to not suck vs. Detroit. Can the Sharks keep the California dream alive or will they be made famous by the Slumdick Thousandaires from Detroit? [NHL]
  • Speaking of dicks, these playoffs are nuts! [Wall Street Journal]
  • Could the legendary New York Islanders be on the move, too? Judgment Day is August 1st. [Puck Daddy]
  • Shea Weber did get a head start, but he deserves to be on Puck Daddy's top playoff beards list for this year. [Puck Daddy]
  • ESPN's Page 2 compiled this great list on why the NHL is the most badass sport around. It's an exhaustively long list, but it makes you feel really good to be a hockey fan when you make it to the end. [ESPN]
  • Boston is in the Conference Finals and they did it without their star rookie, Tyler Seguin. He'll be making his playoff debut this Saturday night. [Albany Times Union]
  • If Atlanta moves to Winnipeg, which could happen by week's end, that means they cannot become the Jets. However, the Manitoba Moose name might get promoted, simultaneously ending AHL hockey in Winnipeg. [Winnipeg Free Press]
  • "Who are you again?" "I'm Jagr! You know? The loveable rascal?" [NHL]
  • Ryan Kesler is swingin' his package around and knocking down tall buildings. [Windsor Star]
  • Milan Hejduk will play another year in frozen hell with Colorado. [MSNBC]
  • The Flyers will be goalie shopping this off-season. What will happen to the three they've got now? Probably Adirondack. I love typing Adirondack. [Bellingham Herald]
  • A dude with an unfortunate last name says the NHL could lock out again soon. With sports these days, let's just assume that everybody's on the brink of lockout. Athletes get paid too much money. [Toronto Sun]

Other Stuff

  • A great website consisting of absolutely ridiculous letters and faxes. [Letters of Note]
  • I don't care if it's "nerdy," I want temperature sensitive tiling on my floor and an interactive LED dinner table. The chain would consistently be off. [Mental Floss]
  • MAKE BEER. [Popular Mechanics]

Thursday Video

I really don't like the Red Wings or Detroit in general, but one good thing did come out of that hellhole: Was (Not Was). Sure, they did "Walk the Dinosaur," but I think "Spy in the House of Love" is one of the most underrated songs ever.

But seriously, fuck Detroit.

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