The date was January 23rd of 1993. Times were different compared to the world we know now. There were no iPods, no helmets on the referees, no trapezoid, and Gary Bettman still hadn't assumed the post of NHL commissioner. Oh, but some things were still the same! Kerry Fraser still had great hair, Dan Marouelli didn't want to hear Chaser go "ow," and the Blues sure as shit didn't like the Red Wings. Jon Hamm may or may not have had his "Hat of Lies."
During the course of a 4-3 Blues victory, one of the greatest team brawls broke out, highlighted by the always coveted but rarely seen Goalie Brawl.
What follows is an interpretation of all the aspects of the brawl that can be obtained through YouTube and Hockey Reference.
And before I get too far, due credit to Down Goes Brown for the inspiration and method of this breakdown.
Thoughts, musings, and analysis are after the jump. The video itself is found at the bottom.
0:00- In case you were wondering, take a look at the boards behind Cujo. It does not appear that Sports Authority has changed its logo. Ever. Good to know.0:04- And we're off! Jim Cummins, who took 8 games to realize that playing for Detroit is a terrible life decision, squares off with Kelly Chase, who got out of Toronto after 2 games later in his career. He probably wanted to get as far away from asshole Nick Kypreos.
0:21- The fan along the boards wearing yellow has my respect. This guy knows that hockey players, much like goldfish, hate it when you bang on the glass. Look at how much it scared Tie Domi. Just applaud wildly and I'm sure they'll know you enjoy what they're doing.
0:47- I can't be certain if Kelly Chase thought about slamming the head of Cummins into the board, but I like to think that he did.
0:49- SpartyDERP! strikes again as yet another Michigan State alum makes a poor life decision. Big time swing and a miss on that haymaker there, Jimbo.
1:00- Bob Probert is all jacked up on Mountain Dew cocaine! "The only reasonable outlet for the sudden onset of rage has to be the guy that just got done fighting! Well, I suppose Dave Lowry will have to do. RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! Oh, noes! Rick Zombo! Save me, McCrimmon! Oh, shit! Bob Bassen! Whoever will save me now!?!?!?"
1:16- "Here comes Cheveldae!" This has been the only time in recorded history that anyone has even sounded remotely excited about the concept of Tim Cheveldae making an appearance in anything. He also makes a serious dent in my "People named Tim are awesome" theory. Also, the "He'll be thrown out of the game!" bit is only a part of the whole quote from Ken Wilson. The rest of that goes: "because nobody likes Tim Cheveldae and he's a fuckhead!" And now you know.
1:23- Indeed, Curtis Joseph shares the opinion that Tim Cheveldae is a fuckhead and wishes him to return from whence he came. Translation for those only fluent in Internet Shorthand: Cujo (addressing Cheveldae)- "STFU, N00B!"
Also, I noticed the Upper Deck hockey cards ad on the far side boards and just had to dig out my collection in the attic. They should make a show about hockey cards or some shit.
1:39- Joe Micheletti realizes Ken Wilson muted his mic and realizes he's been had as he finally gets in on the call.
2:08- After growing weary of kicking Cheveldae's ass, Cujo decides to keep up the charade that they're still fighting by hanging on to each other's jersey's in a menacing fashion.
2:12- Cheveldae breaks his grasp and wipes his face after obtaining permission to do from Joseph.
2:39- Nope, not a hooking call on Kelly Chase, there. Nope. He's just trying to catch a felon with his stick.
2:42- It turns out a case of SpartyDERP! was the thing that got this whole brawl started. Another big time whiff on a body check by Jim Cummins.
3:21- Joe Micheletti surmises that Tim Cheveldae actually thought he could help matters by bailing out his enforcer with his mighty fighting prowess.. There you have it, people. Documented proof that Tim Cheveldae can only make things worse.
Also, Dave Lowry can't figure out which fight to get involved in. TOO. MANY.CHOICES!
3:55- "Boy, Curtis, for such a calm fellow, look out!" Translation: Don't make Cujo angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
4:11- Be it real or fake, Micheletti remarks that Cujo tries to bite Cheveldae. Somewhere, an idea forms in the mind of an 11 year old Alex Burrows.
Throughout the video, we can only assume that a youngster from Eureka named Cam decides that this hockey stuff might be worth trying after seeing such a pugilistic display.
And that's how it really happened, more or less. The Blues went on to win this game 4-3 and go on to make Ed Belfour have a sad in the playoffs.
Where are they now?
Kelly Chase: Chase would go on to play for Hartford and Toronto before wrapping his career up back in St. Louis. Currently he enjoys his position as Blues radio color commentator and enjoys questioning David Perron's effort in his spare time. The latter has become much more difficult in recent times considering Perron's current state of being nowhere near any sort of ice rink anywhere.
Bob Probert: Dead.
Bob Probert's Brain: Even deader than Bob Probert
Tim Cheveldae: I'm not sure what he's doing right now, but compared to others in the same position, he's probably doing a below-average to mediocre job.
Dave Lowry: He went on to score the game winning OT goal in NHLPA '93 for the SNES in a Blues/Hawks game which featured the eventual Poor College Student against his older cousin who was 3 years older than me and subsequently, like, a million times better at that game than I was. But I won that one game with Dave Lowry. Eat it, older cousin.
And apparently Dave Lowry coaches the Calgary Hitmen in real life. Go figure.
Jim Cummins: Not a clue, but that Michigan State education probably isn't helping one damn bit.
Bret Hedican: Managed to marry Kristi Yamaguchi (good decision). Currently an analyst for the San Jose Sharks who no longer have Dany Heatley (not as bad of a decision as it would be if the Sharks still had Heater)
Curtis Joseph: Went on to play for Edmonton, Toronto, Detroit, Phoenix, and Calgary en route to tying Gump Worsley for the most NHL losses by an NHL goaltender. He still relishes the fact that he absolutely pounded Tim Cheveldae though, I hope.
Now sit back, relax, and look for all that stuff I just pointed out.