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Top 11 Signs You're Drunk At A Hockey Game

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This was sign No. 12.
This was sign No. 12.

You must remember, this is a brewery town. Beer and sports just go hand in hand. And what better reason to drink than the Red Wings being in town and the start of the season for the world champion Cardinals down Clark Street. Having another parade would be mind blowing.

So while you daydream about that, consider these:

Top 11 Signs You’re Drunk At A Hockey Game

11. You're wearing an Albert Pujols jersey with a dollar sign on the back in duct tape instead of a No. 5.

10. Just tried buying a teenager’s skinny jeans from him. From behind him in line in the bathroom.

9. Tried hugging Towel Boy after telling him how awesome a season he’s had "throwing the rags."

8. Offered $100 to put your head under the Bud Light tap for two minutes.

7. When you tipped the beer vendor, you tried putting the money in the waistband of his pants.

6. Keep calling the old guy in the seat next to you, "Grampa Jones, the best designated driver in the history of being designated as the driver for drunk-ass people."

5. During second intermission, you climbed over the glass to get to the empty bench to take a quick nap.

4. The beer vendor is calling you his personal 401K plan.

3. During the kiss cam, you start groping yourself. You know, just in case they’re looking for hot single guys to put up there.

2. For the playoffs, you announce you're giving up shaving. In your pants.

1. You’re wearing a Red Wings jersey. Wait, that belongs on the Top 11 Signs You’re a Douche Bag. Sorry.

Any you'd like to add? And come on back for the Game Time Game Day Thread (patent pending). Remember, it's a 6:30 Central start time tonight.