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Top 11 things I'll do during the lockout.

Frederick Breedon - Getty Images

11. Gonna spend that petty cash my wife doesn't know about on Madden13 instead of NHL13 this year.

10. Get fed up with Jeremy Roenick's shift from foot-in-mouth hockey tweets to stupid political tweets and unfollow his dumb ass.

9. Continue to forget that Matt D'Agostini is on the Blues.

8. Sign a shitload of online petitions. Because none of those have ever worked in the history of ever.

7. Finally figure out what all the hubbub about baseball is. Also known as taking a bunch of weirdly-timed naps.

6. Be like Rihanna and act all pissed off about the way the NHL has abused me and then wait until the NHL comes back around and then slowly go back to it and pretend like it doesn't abuse the shit out of me and take me for granted and then try to make up for it by telling me that the NHL didn't mean it and then the NHL buys me pretty things like a "Thank You Fans" sign embedded in the middle of the ice and then I'll be all, "ohmigod, I love youuuuu!"

5. I don't know, spend more time with people who love me or whatever.

4. Get caught up on the Oceans 11-18 movies.

3. Get to keep telling SBN middle management that "we're all over it. Lots of good stories coming really, really, soon. And yes, less curse words this time."

2. Lots of hours spent staring at the computer screen hoping that the next 'blowing the jobs' joke drops out of the sky.

1. Order more Gary Bettman face toilet paper.