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Thursday Links - John Scott Is Worthless

Bloozocky tomorrow. Beyond Checkerdome. Fancy Stats. Fuck John Scott. Fuck Detroit. Garbutt gets five. The Flames keep Monahan. Bon Jovi gets a banner for some stupid reason. Bud Selig doesn't matter. And QI hilarity. IT'S ONLY ONE GAME, BOSTON.

By Donut King

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As a hockey player, this guy is completely fucking worthless.
As a hockey player, this guy is completely fucking worthless.
Jen Fuller

BLUES NEWS:

  • Beyond Checkerdome, Episode 14 went up yesterday. We discussed the suspension of Maxim Lapierre and had our stats and dataviz guru, Robb Tufts, aboard to talk about #FancyStats. Probably our most enlightening show of the young podcast's duration thus far, and we'll have Robb back at a later date, surely. [SLGT]
  • Coinciding with the podcast posting, Robb put up some resources for those seeking more information about hockey's growing world of statistical analysis. [SLGT]
  • Hildy was bored because the Blues haven't played in like a Goddamn week, so she has a Top 11 for us. [SLGT]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Scores from last night's two games, which will be covered later. [NHL.com]
  • Ten games tonight. Because it's Thursday night, and they play games on Thursday night. [NHL.com]
  • John Scott does stupid shit again, this time getting ejected for elbowing Loui Eriksson in the head. The Sabres, who are a shitawful hockey team, lost to the Bruins 5-2 and Scott will likely be getting an in-person hearing with the Department of Player Safety. [CBS Sports Eye On Hockey]
  • While looking for John Scott stuff . . . I found this piece from early October about how Scott felt people like Steve Yzerman are "trying to take my job away". No, John, people like John Scott are trying to take John Scott's job away by sucking shit at hockey and being worthless at it apart from being a puncher. [Canoe.ca]
  • Last night was billed as Alfie vs. his old Sens. Well, the Senators destroyed the Red Wings 6-1 and Jimmy Howard was worse than his average self. [Senators / Inside The Senate]
  • Ryan Garbutt got five games for leaping into the head of Dustin Penner over the weekend. You're gonna see a lot of these five-game calls, mind you, due to the new CBA. [NHL.com]
  • Sean Monahan, the Flames' first-rounder from the 2013 draft and the early Flames leader in goals scored, played his ninth game Tuesday, and the Flames had to decide whether or not he stayed in the NHL or went back to the Ottawa 67's. They decided . . . to keep him, thus burning a year of his Entry-Level Contract. Methinks this may eventually come back to bite them. [USA Today]
  • Martin Brodeur feels that Cory Schneider has passed him up on the Devils goalie depth chart. He has a rather positive outlook on the whole deal, though. [Puck Daddy]
  • The civil suit trial between John Moore and Todd Bertuzzi is now set for September 2014. If it seems like that's a long way off . . . well, it's like 11 months, so yeah it is. [CBC Sports]
  • A biographical documentary on Teemu Selanne is being watched by a lot of folks in Finland, and getting rave reviews. #TeemuForever [Variety]
  • Tim Thomas was put on IR by the Panthers. The folks at Litter Box Cats wonder if the team asked too much of him too soon. (The answer: "Yeah, probably.") [Litter Box Cats]
  • The Maple Leafs have a shit-ton of banners up at Air Canada Centre. Well, there's one more going up . . . for fucking Bon Jovi. Seriously, that is horrible. [Toronto Star]
  • Jonas Brodin recently had his cheekbone broken and will miss time because of it. When he comes back, he'll have to wear a face shield. Don Cherry's gonna have a field day with that one . . . [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]
  • Among the notes about the Blue Jackets here is a tidbit about James Wisniewski throwing up twice during their last game. *INSERT JOKE ABOUT LEAVING IT ALL OUT ON THE ICE HERE* [Columbus Dispatch]
  • Here's a nice story . . . Phil Kessel, a cancer survivor, donated a luxury box to Childhood Cancer Canada for the Leafs' home game against the Ducks on Tuesday. What did he do in that game? He netted a hat trick. Good karma, kid. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • The Cardinals lost 8-1 in Game 1 of the World Series. People are talking about whether or not Jon Lester cheated, which is funny because that was not at all the reason why they lost. Also, if you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'. [SB Nation]
  • Speaking of baseball . . . as Bud Selig begins his downturn toward retirement, Deadspin reminds us that his tenure as commissioner of baseball has largely not mattered much. [Deadspin]
  • A goat got loose in Des Moines, IA, and no one knows who owns it. I can confirm that basically nothing happens in that city, which is why this would be news. [Y! / AP]

VIDEO:

QI talks about how feet are measured. Hilarity ensued.

I could watch clips of this show all day.

It's the weekend. So send J-Mill your shit.