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Saturday Links: Tropically Depressed

Mr. Meester carries a big stick, the BJs score a goal despite their best efforts, & if you watch Bob's Burgers, you're probably broke as shit.

"Are my :30 up yet? The blood's rushing to my head. Okay, your turn Cam: Truth or Dare?"
"Are my :30 up yet? The blood's rushing to my head. Okay, your turn Cam: Truth or Dare?"
Dilip Vishwanat

First the Avalanche, now the Hurricanes. The Blues are dealing with all of the severe natural disasters which devastate millions of people all at once - and since we're playing the Capitals tomorrow, I'll let you make your own DC-joke now.

[Listens.]

AHAHAHA!!! Oh man, good one! Priceless!

Click these links.

BLUES NEWS:

  • The Blues have waived Chris Porter again, because Brenden Morrow has returned. [STLToday]
  • Dan O'Neil apparently thinks Jay Bouwmeester is a soft-talker. "If you were trying to get Jerry Seinfeld to wear some kind of frilly-looking pirate shirt, Bouwmeester would be your guy. He talks at low volumes." [STLToday]
  • After the intense beat down that the Blues put on the Avalanche the other night, Ryan Kennedy of The Hockey News wonders if St. Louis-Colorado might become the NHL's Next Great Rivalry. If the Avs are going to whine about gutlessness after Cory Sarich almost knees Stewie in the knee, I'm all for upping the hate ante! [The Hockey News]
  • CanesAndBluesFan sounds like he might be conflicted tonight, but in the mean time he crunches the numbers to see if regular season team PDO (shooting%+save%, if I'm not mistaken - basically, puck luck) has any correlation to postseason success. [SLGT]
  • Drunken Sailor earns a sticktap with a John Kelly appearance on an Avs podcast "Hockey Talk, with Adrian Dater" of the Denver Post where he discusses, among other things, the origin of "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" [Denver Post]

KNOW YOUR ENEMY - THE CAROLINA HURRICANES:

  • The Hurricanes are coming off a 3-2 shootout win against the Ducks last night - Canes Country recaps it, to give you an idea of Carolina's recent form. [Canes Country]
  • One of the best things about watching the Hurricanes The only good thing about watching the Hurricanes is that Jeff Skinner is awesome as shit...unfortunately, he'll more than likely miss his 10th straight game tonight. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • Jordan Staal is starting to get his groove back. [Raleigh News & Observer]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Canes-Ducks was one of four shootouts last night. The other games didn't. [NHL.com]
  • If you like late night hockey between two terrible teams that hate each other, then tonight is your night, with the Oilers and the Flames firing first shots of the year in the Battle of Alberta. There's also Tampa Bay vs Phoenix and Blackhawks vs Predators, along with 6 other tilts. [NHL.com]
  • In our next edition of "How The Fuck Did That Shit Happen?!?" Artem Anisimov of the Columbus Blue Jackets "scored" a "goal" on the Habs last night by...N64 tripping/Peter Budaj falling/Daniel Briere tipping the puck into the air...we might have to get together and create a new adjective to describe this goal, but for now I'll just call it a "clusterfuckmania." [Puck Daddy]
  • You think beer prices at DrinkScotch are too high? You're still probably right, but when compared to the rest of the league, we have the 2nd cheapest beer per once in the NHL. The moral of the story: either pregame properly, or quit-cha-bitchin'. [Puck Daddy]
  • One question people had about there being so many outdoor games this year is if there would be just as many 24/7s on HBO. The answer is now "pretty much" - the "Stadium Series" games will have "24/7-like documentaries" which will air on NBC Sports Network, or CBC for our Canadian friends. (Do we have any Canadian friends? We have British and Dutch friends, surely we have at least one or two in Canada, right?) [SBNation NHL]
  • Will Stevie Y look to trade for a replacement for Steven Stamkos? Of course not, because neither Sidney Crosby nor Alex Ovechkin will be traded, and I bet Gretzky's probably lost a few steps over the years. [The Hockey News]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Science Saturday: studies show that black holes most likely produce the "lowest note known in the Universe," approximately 57 octaves below middle C - to put that in perspective, most human ears can only hear sounds in a range of 10-11.5 octaves. Which means (if a certain urban myth is true) if you find yourself next to a black hole, you'll probably have two excuses to shit yourself. (I don't know if that urban myth is true, but that's a Science for another Saturday.) [CBC News]
  • Advertisers are so thorough, they're able to tell your income bracket based on which TV shows you watch. I apparently have a much higher class taste than my broke ass would seem to indicate, though Bob's Burgers is pretty awesome! [The AV Club]
  • A guy in Singapore was sentenced to 33 months in jail for stealing cash, but I feel like he should get parole just because his apparently legit name is so amazing: Batman bin Suparman. Sticktap to @HakanOnang [BBC News]
  • If you haven't heard of Batkid yet, prepare tilt your head to the side and say "awwwwww." The city of San Francisco turned itself into Gotham City yesterday, so 5-year old Miles Scott, who after battling leukemia for 3 years is showing signs of remission, could fulfill his dream of being Batman for the day. Not to sound greedy, but I think if you're going to put that much effort and 13,000 people worth of man power into something this awesome, you have to give him a shot at taking down the Joker - Riddler and Penguin are fine, but what are they, saving the arch enemy for Miles' second day as Batkid? But still, this was amazing. [Huff Post]

VIDEOS:

Two of my best friends' birthdays were earlier this week, while my 25th is on Wednesday, so as part of our tradition, we'll be getting together for our big Triple Birthday Extravaganza tonight (probably on The Loop, if anyone's interested in meeting up). I'm hoping the plan goes something like this:


Next up on ESPN2, the next in a long line of 30 for 30 documentaries, featuring the only time in history a basketball game meant jack shit.


Yeah, sure I can do the links all by myself, but it's more fun when it's a collaborative effort, you know? So start pulling your damn weight around here and send me shit!

It's a game day, so you'll be sure to get a game day's worth of things to check out throughout the day. And if you're going to the game, tip your St. Louis Game Time vendor! Well, buy a St. Louis Game Time first (or hey, why not one for everyone in your group!), then tip your vendor.